Stop Body Shaming – Write Your Own Body Positive Anthem and Cancel Diet Culture

Stop Body Shaming – Write Your Own Body Positive Anthem and Cancel Diet Culture

Parents, have you heard of @Jax?

If not, you better get with it!

Have you heard @Jax’s viral hit “Victoria’s Secret?

If not, listen to it on YouTube using the link above and share with every friend and every teen you know.

Never mind on the teen part.  They’ve already heard it. Her song is not a secret and it’s maybe, just maybe, unintentionally taking down a decades old, body-negative, body shaming, disordered eating promoting brand.

Who Is @Jax?

I’ve been following @Jax, a 20 something songwriter on TikTok for quite a while now.  Jax is a fun singer/songwriter and American Idol alum who nails situations like a rock-band poster to the wall with her catchy melodies.

Along with songwriting, @Jax is a nanny or babysitter for a pre-teen girl, Chelsea, who was recently body-bullied by a “friend” when trying on bikinis.

A few girls went shopping at Victoria’s Secret before their first boy-girl pool party. Mean girl told Chelsea that she looked “fat and flat” in a bikini she was trying on.

Chelsea told @Jax about it when she picked her up. @Jax was “cringing” thinking about her own body insecurities growing up watching VS models on the runway, so @Jax took it to her keyboard and her body-positive anthem was born. Her song went viral from launching as a flash mob outside of VS headquarters, choreographing the lyrics:

Victoria’s Secret Song Lyrics (by @Jax)

God I wish somebody
would have told me
when I was younger
That all bodies
aren’t the same

itty bitty models
on magazine covers
Told me I was overweight

I stopped eating.
What a bummer.
Can’t have carbs and a
Hot girl summer

If I could go back
And tell myself
When I was younger….

I’d say…


I know Victoria’s Secret
And girl, you
wouldn’t believe
She’s an old man
who lives in Ohio
Makin money off
Of girls like me
Cashing in on
Body issues
Selling skin and bones
with big boobs

I know
Victoria’s Secret
She was MADE UP
by a dude

Victoria was MADE UP
by a dude

Itty Bitty Models, Dudes in Ohio, and Unhealthy Body Image Standards

Victoria’s Secret has created this situation for themselves by promoting and profiting off an unattainable and unhealthy body standard for decades now.

The power of social media to take down a brand makes me feel hopeful.

Calling out VS and its creepy founder DUDE is a strategic by product of her viral song.  It’s like a bonus.  It wasn’t her intention. @Jax only intention was to help Chelsea whom she adores so that Chelsea won’t suffer from the same society-induced body image issues and disordered eating @Jax endured. She can’t protect Chelsea from our society that’s obsessed with the pursuit of thin privilege, but to stop the internalization of fatphobic aggressions will likely change the trajectory of Chelsea’s life.

Most Teens Experience Body Shaming and Body Judging By Peers

Let’s focus on what’s going on with your teen because most teens (lots of studies show) experience body-judging and body-shaming by peers, doctors, teachers, parents, and themselves. Check out my anti-bullying blogs starting with, “Stop bullying your selfie.”

Unfortunately, us parents all too often get stuck in diet culture thinking and get triggered or activated and fight, flight or freeze up when our teen is experiencing a situation like this.

How to Get Unstuck from Diet Culture and Help Your Teen

How would you show up in this situation as a parent?

Do a pre-visualization (mental rehearsal in coach talk) right now and imagine your teen getting in the car after being at the mall with friends and they told you a “friend” body-bullied and shamed them.  Their “friend” called them “fat and flat”.

Would you be like my mom, Barb, and say, “Oh, don’t listen to her.  She doesn’t know what she’s talking about.”

Barb would also add in a dig, “She’s homely.”

Would you get into fix and solve mode and call out the bully?

“I’m going to call her mom when we get home. I’m not surprised.  Her Mom’s superficial and weight obsessed.” This is exactly what I would do 100% as my past-parenting self. I do believe there’s a time for this approach. It feels so good to get that bully’s mom on the phone right away, but it’s okay to pause and respond rather than react.

How would you talk about it?

Would you say, “I can’t believe she said that. You’re not fat or flat.”

Or would you get triggered or activated like some parents by your diet thinking self, get into body-judging and say, “She’s bigger and less curvy than you.”

Do you have the words to help your teen, so she/he/they depersonalize and don’t internalize fatphobia and dehumanize themselves which often leads to restricting food?

Restricting food leads to overeating and binging.  Restricting food is harmful 100% of the time.

You want your teen to create healthy habits and have self-confidence, which is what parents tell me they want and what I also want for my kids.  That’s a given.

I just want my kids to lead their magical lives. Also, I have funny kids and, selfishly, I like to hang around them because all three of them make me laugh. So, more magic and more laughs. More hilarious quotes from “The Office” from my daughter, Audrey, who knows every line from every season, please.

What do you want for your teen?

Have you seen the September 2022 mantras about debunking diet culture? These mantras may also be helpful for your teen if you would like to share them.

Teen woman holding sign that says BEAUTIFUL

Show Up for Your Teen Like @Jax: Be a Parent Who Calls Out Diet Culture Harm

What I want for you and your teen is for you to show up like @Jax.

Be the kind of parent who would write a body positive anthem and call out the harms of diet culture.

Write Your Own Body Positive Anthem for Your Teen

Ready to write your own body positive anthem for your teen?

Start with my 5 ways for Parents to be an Upstander when their child or teen is bullied:

  1. Acknowledge and accept feelings with a word or sound…. “Oh, mmmm (like Marge Simpson)”or a simple statement:
  • “That sounds so tough.”
  • “I understand why you’re upset.”
  • “I’m sorry that happened.”
  • “It’s not okay that she/he/they said that.”
  • “How are you feeling about it?”
  1. Instead of logic and explanations, validate and allow your teen’s feelings:
  • Sit and listen and allow your teen to express anger, sadness, defensiveness, or whatever emotion is coming up.
  • Don’t make it about you. Your experience is your experience.
  1. Let your teen know:
  • It’s bullying and it’s unacceptable.
  • Body judging and shaming isn’t okay.
  1. Stay out of “should”, “shouldn’t” and “I wish” statements:
  • The aggression happened. That’s reality. “She should not have said that.”  “I wish they wouldn’t have said that.” “I wish our society wasn’t so messed up.” These things are out of your teen’s control and put your teen in a powerless place or a place of fixing and controlling what they don’t cause or control.Guru time: Byron Katie says all our suffering comes from attachment to beliefs that things should be different. From not accepting reality. My business, your business, and the Universe’s business. As a parent, with good intention, you want to fix and solve and make it go away.What do we control as parents? How we show up and where we put our attentional focus.That’s kind of it.Oh, and don’t forget the unconditional love part. There’s that too.You are there to support he/she/them.They aren’t powerless.

    They get to decide their next best step.

    This is not the time to lecture about bullying or try to make your teen be objective about a situation that is so emotionally loaded.

    Has nothing to do with them. Let your teen know how to depersonalize it. They are not powerless. Create a bully ban. Be an upstander in a situation like that in the future. Start by being an upstander for themselves.

  1. Create bully bans to help your teen create healthy boundaries:
  • Try one I learned from a mom who follows me on TikTok: She coached her daughter to say, even at family gatherings when family members comment on her body:
  • “MY body is none of YOUR business.”

Self Trust Improves When a Teen’s Parent Has Her Back

Your teen will know you are there for them.

Trusting you is their first step to creating self-trust they will have their own back in the future.

Keep the door open for ongoing conversations.

Coach yourself to decide your next step.

You may want to address weight bullying that’s happening at school with the counselor or even the other teen’s parent.  Making the decision for your next best step coming from a place of showing up loving and supportive for your teen is more powerful and productive than coming from fix and solve over function mode.

Don’t pressure yourself to get it right in the moment.

Sometimes Listening to Your Teen Is Better Than Talking

It’s okay to listen.  You always get it right when you listen.

Keeping my mouth shut is what my own teens prefer.

As a parent, you know your teen best and what will work for them.

Join the Anti-Diet-Culture Community and Work with Dr. Karla

Stay tuned for more ways to work with me.  I will coach you to talk about difficult topics like Victoria’s Secret induced body shaming and judging.

I’ll coach you to show up like @Jax and write your own body positive anthem for your teen.

I’ve always got your back,

Dr. Karla

Notes for Teens:

If you feel stuck in a body bullying  or body shaming situation:

  • Realize that friends don’t judge and shame other people’s bodies. It’s bullying and bullying is always unacceptable.
  • Talk to someone you trust who will listen and not just tell you what to do.
  • Allow your feelings and emotions.
  • Realize bullying is about the person and not you. When someone is judging someone else, they are judging themselves. It’s coming from a place of weakness and insecurity always.
  • Don’t get in their head. Don’t try to spend time figuring out the bully’s motivation for bullying.
  • Keep talking about it if you need to or want to.
  • Think before sharing on social media or with other friends. Maybe you want to but think about it first.
  • Write about the situation for a few minutes.
  • Decide if you want to confront the friend who bullied you and what you will say:
    • “That was hurtful.” Say, “I felt…., “instead of,
      “You made me feel……”.
  • Create a healthy boundary for yourself (physical, emotional, or verbal).
  • Make sure you don’t comment on people’s bodies and don’t talk crap about your own body when you’re with your friends.
  • Try this bully ban one of my TikTok followers uses:
    “MY body is none of YOUR business.”
  • Be an upstander not a bystander if you see body bullying. “You need to stop. That’s not okay.  It’s creepy to judge and comment on other people’s bodies.”
  • Go to the party!!! Don’t let the bully win. Show up and have fun!

Make sure you check out all of IME Community goodness on social!

Stop Body Shaming – Write Your Own Body Positive Anthem and Cancel Diet Culture

Fatphobia Quiz – Am I Fatphobic? (Some Answers May Surprise You)

Take this fatbphobia quiz to answer: “Am I fatphobic?” While a few of the answers may surprise you, we can start a healthy discussion about weight.

Don’t want to take the quiz? Download our free ebook, “Cut the Cringe,” and learn how to create positive conversation habits that support body positivity.

People’s body sizes are a very sensitive issue. Many people have strong opinions about overweight (or what our culture defines as overweight) people. Some think that heavier people are lazy, stupid, and unhealthy. They think heavier individuals look terrible or are bad people. These are all elements of fatphobia, and they’re just plain wrong. We’ll talk about why when you finish the quiz.

Welcome to your Am I Fatphobic? (A Fatphobia Quiz)

Do you fear or feel ashamed of being in public with someone larger than what our diet culture decides is an ideal weight or body type?

Do you see people heavier than you as sloppy, unmotivated, or unhealthy?

Is it brave for a heavier individual to wear tank tops, swimsuits, or leggings/yoga pants?

Should there be more size options available for clothing like suits, other professional business wear, and wedding dresses?

If you're seated on a plane or train and there is an open seat next to you, when you see a heavier person approaching, are you annoyed?

Is it kind to tell someone you've noticed that they lost weight?

Body Image Thoughts – June 2022 Mantras

Body Image Thoughts – June 2022 Mantras

Do You Bully Your Body? Here’s How to Get Unstuck from This Habit

Welcome to summer!

Whew! So far, it’s been a whirlwind for our family with my daughter’s graduation from High School and tomorrow I’m headed to Texas to move my oldest daughter into a new house (for her) with new roommates! I’m grateful I get to do it.

IME is six months or half a year, however you slice up that summer fruit, through a year of self-love superpower mantras! This glorious month of June let’s do fun stuff and get out of self-judging and hating on our bodies.

We just wrapped up Celebrate Measures of Success in May. You get to decide how to measure your success. How’d you do? If you were busy like me and didn’t get to it, no worries (I can’t stand when the Starbucks drive-thru person says, “No worries” after I place my order), you can create your measures of success this month.

Since I’m on social media a lot and lately have been going all in with my cancel diet culture posts, helping everyone stop their pursuit of thin privilege and live their magical lives, I figure June would be a great month to focus on body image.

Do you bully your body?

Do you have a certain body part that you fixate on wanting to fix? We all do sometimes.

We all have parts of us that we would choose to change. Maybe you can and that’s okay too. Maybe once you realize you can, you will decide not to.

Any decisions we make about making health behavior change or taking action in life must come from a place of self-acceptance and self-love. We cannot hate ourselves to what we want. Lots of psychology and coaching research shows this. It’s called PEA or Positive Emotion Activation. It’s cool stuff.

After years of being a pediatrician and taking care of so many patients, I can assure you that once you decide to focus on what you want in life and you have full love and acceptance for yourself, the healthy lifestyle changes become so easy. I’ve seen this time and time again with my patients and with myself.

One of the obstacles in our way is staying stuck in negative body image thoughts or staying attached to thoughts that don’t serve us. I’m not asking you to flip a body positive switch and just love yourself all day. That’s cheesy and not realistic.

When you say the letters I M E out loud, it sounds like I aM mE. The power of you as an individual with the support of a body positive community. How cool is that?

Quick Tip to Stop Bullying Your Own Body

Wear clothes right now that are comfortable that you love and feel-good in. If you have stuck thoughts that are creating negative body image feelings and actions, try my IME Community June Body Image Thoughts to Think!

IME Community Mantras for June 2022: Stop Bullying Your Body

  • 6/1 I define beauty by actions.
  • 6/2 If I want to change something about my physical appearance, I don’t
    make it mean that I’m sacrificing my values.
  • 6/3 I am deciding not to decide right now.
  • 6/4 I am never stuck.
  • 6/5 I fully love and accept myself no matter what.
  • 6/6 I make decisions from a healthy place of self-love and
  • 6/7 Self-acceptance is always available to me like a nice warm blanket.
  • 6/8 I don’t let society define me or make decisions for me.
  • 6/9 It’s okay to wish something was different about me.
  • 6/10 I may re-decide at any time.
  • 6/11 When I decide, there is no right or wrong.
  • 6/12 I always like my reasons for deciding.
  • 6/13 I can create a thought about myself that serves me.
  • 6/14 I trust myself to stop self-judging.
  • 6/15 There are so many beautiful things about me.
  • 6/16 I am kind to myself no matter what.
  • 6/17 I don’t have to be perfect. I just have to be perfectly kind to myself.
  • 6/18 I recognize when my brain gets stuck in a thought loop and I create a pause.
  • 6/19 It’s okay to allow sadness as part of my human journey.
  • 6/20 When something is hard, I say it, “This feels really hard right now. May I be kind to myself.”
  • 6/21 I recognize that life is 50/50 positive/negative right now and if I
    change my body.
  • 6/22 I don’t convince myself if I’m not feeling it.
  • 6/23 If I don’t feel body positive, I don’t lie to myself. That feels like toxic
  • 6/24 Being hard on myself is not helpful.
  • 6/25 Fixating on changing my body is a waste of time.
  • 6/26 I’m living my life and doing what I want.
  • 6/27 When I’m in a body negative space, I stay off Instagram.
  • 6/28 I don’t look for how to fix my body on the internet.
  • 6/29 All I must do is create space for self-kindness when I’m being hard on my body.
  • 6/30 I don’t like any of the cheesy love your body always sayings.

Be okay with having an authentic human experience which means sometimes you love your body, sometimes you don’t, sometimes you are meh.

Get Unstuck from Self-Bullying Your Body

I just want you to get unstuck from attachment to body negative thoughts. Let me know what self-love superpower mantra theme you want for July! Stay tuned for my upcoming Cut the Cringe Life Coaching Workshops for Parents of Teens where I will coach you to cancel diet culture and raise a body positive teen in a body negative world!

Please follow IME Community on social media and share with everyone you know!

Self-love superpower, 

Dr. Karla, ActivistMD

Interview: Teen Eating Disorders Thrive in Secrecy, So Let’s Talk About It

Interview: Teen Eating Disorders Thrive in Secrecy, So Let’s Talk About It

If you are struggling with an eating disorder or believe you may be, Go to the National Eating Disorders Association for their Free online chat, call their Help Line at 1-800-931-2237 or contact their Crisis Line by Texting “NEDA” to 741741.

Dr. Karla talks with Dr. Jillian Rigert (DMD and MD) about what teens, parents, doctors, and teachers can do to help teens recognize, get treatment and heal from eating disorders in adolescence, starting with self-worth and self-compassion.

It’s Mental Health Awareness Month and this helpful information is needed now more than ever!

You get to live your magical and FUN life! 

Dr. Rigert wrote an incredibly helpful blog for IME Community, titled, “Lessons from a recovering perfectionist”.  I found Dr. Rigert’s blog and my interview with her to be so helpful and healing.

Teen Eating Disorders Video

We’re talking about teen eating disorders in this video, so just know that if you are not feeling it, go ahead and stop listening.  Also, the video is super helpful and healing, but doesn’t take the place of going to your doctor and working with a therapist who specializes in eating disorder treatment.  The earlier you are diagnosed and receive treatment, the better your outcome.  

First, if you are experiencing disordered eating, know that you are not alone, that it’s never your fault, you are worthy of help and treatment and healing no matter where you are with your diagnosis.  

Recognize, you are not broken and you can heal and live your beautiful life.  

You don’t cause and you don’t control all the things in life.  Eating disorders are a mental health diagnosis.  They are a medical condition.  You are not a diagnosis. 

I simply love you and want you to know that you are deserving of a self-love superpower life.  

Eating Disorders in Adolescence Are Common

Eating disorders are unfortunately common, cross gender lines, and do not have anything to do with weight.  What do I mean by that? You cannot determine if someone has an eating disorder based on their weight and external appearance. 

In our society and culture, we feel entitled to comment on bodies and sizeism is a thing and so is weight bullying, weight stigma and bias, and the false association between weight and health.  It’s all 100% harmful.

Dr. Jillian and I talk a lot about social media in this helpful discussion. It’s very very helpful. 

Welcome to National Eating Disorders Awareness Week.  I mean, I guess it’s a good thing to have an awareness week? What do you think?  I spent some time figuring out how to be helpful and not just share the typical talking points that are out there on eating disorders.   

How IME Community is addressing eating disorders starts with sharing the story of Dr. Jillian Rigert and her experience with an eating disorder, but most importantly, how Dr. Jillian is intentionally healing through her journey of self-worth and self-compassion.  

Sound familiar?  It’s self-love superpower! 

Eating disorders are “suffering”, a word Dr. Jillian used many times in this discussion.  Parents, note that your teen’s weight has absolutely nothing to do with their internal mental state.  If you believe your teen’s thinness means they should be happy, you’re wrong.  If you believe your teen who exists in a larger body, needs to shrink their body and their emotional and mental health and well-being will be fixed, wrong. I’m not saying that improving health habits won’t improve well-being.  Our focus on weight being equated to health and emotional health is just wrong.  

Stop Believing the Pursuit of Thin Privilege Gets to Happiness

Silence is fuel for an eating disorder.  Not talking about it, not knowing how to talk about it, staying stuck in diet culture, focusing too much on weight and not on mental health are all ways that parents and doctors contribute to the perpetuation of eating disorders and potentially create continued harm. 

Just like many issues in healthcare, eating disorder screening and treatment is another thing we’ve not been that helpful in addressing. Dr. Jillian and I talk about how we can start by having discussions with physicians and get rid of the focus on BMI (Body Mass Index) and weight-based diagnostic criteria.  When she talks about how harmful BMI at the doctor’s office was for her, I was overcome with emotion.  Her story is very powerful.  

Here’s a link to one of the many helpful Dr. Jillian Rigert articles on eating disorders, Eating Disorders Thrive in Secrecy, So Let’s Talk About It, published in  

Next up, I will discuss the different types of eating disorders.  Parents, please let me know what needs you have for coaching on this important health issue. 

Reach out to me at Teens, 12 to 18, and parents of teens, go to and subscribe to the IME Community newsletter – you’ll be automatically added to the IME Community and get my coaching to create a Body Positive Community for Teens in a Body Negative World!

Self- love superpower, 

Dr. Karla, ActivistMD

Parents – Stop Weight Bullying Your Kids and Your Kids’ Friends

Parents – Stop Weight Bullying Your Kids and Your Kids’ Friends

You’re crossing an inappropriate boundary when you judge and comment on a child’s body.  

Do better! Now! It’s time to stop weight bullying your kids and your kid’s friends.

Stop Weight Bullying – It’s Abusive and Toxic

Here’s the logic thread: If you bully, your kid will bully.  If you are bullying, do a U-turn.  You are bullying yourself.  If you bully, you are stuck in diet culture and its toxic harms.  All of it trickles to your kid.  You are living a limited life and you’re putting cinder blocks on your kid’s potential growth as a human being and chance at happiness.   

When I started TikTok over a year ago, I was shocked at the number of videos of body positive creators getting cyber-bullied based on their body size.  Absolutely horrible! So, I started making videos talking about how you know nothing about anyone else’s health.  Health and weight are not directly correlated and health information is private and protected.  So, that was that.  And, the cyber-bullying continues in full force.

Then, shockingly, I started noticing videos made by young adults whose parents have weight bullied them.  Totally disgusting and abusive! So, I made duets and called it out on my go-to platform, TikTok. 

Okay then, what will I discover next after putting on my scuba gear and diving into the clock app? 

I won’t change the world.  I’m here to learn.  Listen. Listen. Listen. 

Just the other day, I ran across a video while scrolling, where @powerlove2855, who I follow and you should too, talked about when she was little, her friend’s mom weight bullied her.  Unbelievably toxic! 

Weight Bullying Video with a Teen TikTok Creator

Of course, I did a duet video with @powerlove2285 on TikTok:

My text at the top:

Studies show young children experience weight-based victimization from parents, friends, peers, doctors, and teachers.  

 “On more than one occasion in elementary school I would have a friend tell me that her Mom said I was fat and I needed to lose weight. That Mom was secretly hoping that that little girl would stop being my friend.  Because she wanted her little girl to have the social capital of being friends with all the pretty, tiny, little Limited 2 girls back in my time.” 

“It is so absolutely petty.  The part of this conversation of growing up fat that we don’t talk about enough is that adults that are not your family, not your parents consistently comment on your body.  Friends of parents, teachers, lunch ladies, school librarians, neighbors, unhinged women at the grocery store who tell your Mom to stop feeding you.”

“The absolutely disgusting commentary around a child’s body must end.  Must end.”

The comments on my video are rolling in and it’s not looking good, folks! Grandparents weight bully, Parents, friends’ parents, teachers, doctors, neighbors.  It’s a toxic entitlement to comment on children’s bodies.  As a pediatrician and mandatory reporter, these comments strike me as inappropriate on the level of verbal and emotional abuse.  Let’s disrupt the toxicity by calling it out! 

Weight Shouldn’t Be Weaponized

Research and studies have been out for quite a while of parental perceptions of weight-based victimization, its harms for their children and listing weight bullying as the number one health concern for parents of teens with overweight.  

It’s unfortunately, not a surprise that children in larger bodies are ostracized and their weight is weaponized as a weakness, just as they are growing and developing.  

Parents, we can help our children and teens create bully bans or boundary setting statements, but, if you are a weight bully stuck in diet culture and your internalized biases, you’ve got some work to do.  

Make a Commitment to Stop Weight Bullying Your Kids or Teens

Commit today to stop weight bullying your child or teen.  What are your future parent guide words?  Envision you showing up as the kind of parent you want to be.  Nobody’s watching but you, and your kid.  If you are a parent who is a weight bully, you’re most likely weight bullying yourself and it’s not a simple flip of a switch to cancel diet culture. Your children and teens are worth the work you have to do to do better. 

May 2022 Is Mental Health Awareness Month

It’s Mental Health Awareness Month.  Teens are in a Mental Health Crisis as another wave of COVID hits. We simply don’t have time or tolerance for adults who bully children. 

Go to and get on my email list, read and share my blogs! Follow @imecommunity on TikTok!

Self-love superpower, 

Dr. Karla, ActivistMD


Interview: Teen Eating Disorders Thrive in Secrecy, So Let’s Talk About It

What Is Sextortion and How Do You Prevent Your Teen from Being a Victim?

This blog and video come with a trauma warning.  If you or your teen are experiencing depression and need to talk to someone, please call the National Suicide Hotline at 1-800-273-8255.

“Sometimes I feel like I want to give it up, but it’s such a big part of teenage life, I just don’t.” (Teen on Childhood 2.0 Life in the Digital Age)

Do You Know How to Help Protect Your Kids and Teens from Cyberbullying and Sextortion?

Do you feel like you can protect your kids from the dangers online?

Do you feel like your kids need to learn to navigate the digital world on their own?  

After all, they live in the Information Age which surely comes with some benefits.  Us Parents grew up with all of the physical dangers and there’s only so much fear we can take on.  

Parents, we need to adapt and it needs to happen quickly.  

The COVID pandemic has exacerbated process addictions like screen time. 

Statistics show that violent crimes, physical dangers, are not as much of a risk to our children as the harms online, including cyberbullying, sextortion, digital marketing that uses highly successful and strategic neuro-marketing tactics.  

An Important Documentary About Sextortion and Cyberbullying

You and your teen need to watch Childhood 2.0 The Living Experiment to really see what it’s like for our children and teens growing up in the digital age. Parents, we do hard things and it’s time to stop burying our heads in the sand when it comes to our teens and social media and the scariness of what’s out there on the internet.  

If you are the kind of parent who believes “This will never happen to my son or my daughter,” you are living in an alternate reality.  Process addictions like screen time addictions are real.  Youth suicide rates are up and in younger children.  

If you or your teen are experiencing depression and need to talk to someone, please call the National Suicide Hotline at 1-800-273-8255

We can’t control all of the internet, but we also can’t throw our hands up in the air and not do anything and be totally helpless.  

What is Self-Coaching?

When it comes to helping our teens there’s nothing us parents won’t do. 

It’s just that we don’t cause and we don’t control a lot.  Recognizing the reality that we can’t prevent suffering for our teens or ourselves is powerful awareness.  

In this YouTube I am doing the hard work, putting in the time, to coach myself (aka being curious and creating thought awareness) on the topic of sextortion on the internet and our teens.  

This is very hard work, but it’s the most important work us parents need to do for ourselves to truly help our teens.  

You may have heard the tragic news of the high school student who was a victim of sextortion by internet trolls who sent a compromised photo of a girl he knew, or he thought was her, and then asked him to send a photo of himself.  Once he did, he received an email asking for $300 or the photo would be spread on the internet.  He sent the money and then received another email asking for $1,000 or the photo would be shared. He didn’t have the money and panicked and within six hours of receiving the first email he ended his life.  

Why It’s Wrong to Think “This Can’t Happen to My Teen”

If you believe this can’t be your teen, you are wrong. 

I was panicked with the worst fear possible when I heard this tragic story.  Thoughts create feelings and feelings drive actions.  I felt panic and froze.  In other words, I froze in my steps and wasn’t doing anything to help my teens at all.  With self-coaching, I was able to get curious and create thought awareness.  Current thoughts create current reality and current result.  If I wanted to get unstuck from freeze mode, I needed to create awareness of my thoughts that were creating the feeling of panic.

Once I created powerful awareness of my current thoughts and feelings and actions, then I can do some self-discovery to figure out why I keep choosing to stay stuck and then create some powerful thought shift to a thought that creates a feeling of intentional.  

Positive Actions to Take Against Sextortion and Cyberbullying

Here’s what I found out. 

The most powerful current thought coming up for me that was creating a feeling of panic and sending me into a stress response freeze mode was:

“I haven’t done enough to protect my kids.”

This thought created panic, the action of freezing and the result: “I’m not doing anything.”

Then,  I created a thought shift to something that is believable to me and will create a feeling of intentional, which is how I decided I want to feel.

Here’s my new thought:

 “I trust myself to show up even when it’s a hard issue, topic or conversation.” 

Feeling: Intentional

Action: Self-coaching, check out documentary and resources and write opening to conversation script with my teen

Result: I’m showing up to help my teens through difficult times.

See how that self-coaching works? It’s important work and our teens are worth it. Make sure you check out and Join for Dr. Karla coaching.

Self-love superpower, 

Dr. Karla, ActivistMD