Self-Love Superpower Mantras March 2022

Self-Love Superpower Mantras March 2022

Welcome to March Self-Worth Madness where self-worth is an inside game!

They say there is no I in Team.

When it comes to self worth there is. 

You are your own team and the best way to be successful is to build up your self worth. 

Sure, it takes practice.

Are you on the self worth Bubble?  

Not sure if you are going to make the Big Dance?  

What do you need to do to make it?

It starts with the fundamentals. 

  • Take good shots. 
  • Limit turnovers. 
  • Trust your teammates giving you support. 
  • Ignore the refs judging you. 
  • Believe in yourself. 

Once you have the self worth to make the big dance, you can work on the things to get you to the Sweet Sixteen, the Elite Eight and the Final Four

You’ll be on your way to the Self-Worth Championship!

Here are three mantras to remind yourself of daily:

  • I am worthy of love and respect, just as I am, especially from myself.
  • If I keep being mean to myself, I will stay stuck getting the same results.
  • I am never a bystander.  I’m an upstander, even for myself.

Ready to fill out your self-worth bracket? 

Make sure you Join IME Community to get your self-worth inside-game plan in action!

We’re rooting for you!

Dr. Karla (Funny/Unapologetic/Firestarter/Rock Chalk Jayhawk (had to get that in there)) 

– and –

Dr. Darek (Curious/Hilarious/Sports-Obsessed/TCU fan and Dr. Karla’s Hubs)

Life Coaching Gen-X Parents of Teens on Russia’s Invasion of Ukraine

Life Coaching Gen-X Parents of Teens on Russia’s Invasion of Ukraine

Are you a GenX parent like me? I proudly wear my Purple Rain t-shirt I got at Target with my Mom jeans, Hoka sneakers and Apple Watch that I ignore when it pings me to stand up several times a day. That’s the “Rebel Yell” in me.

If you’re a GenX parent, you grew up with 80’s music, which I say is the best ever and my daughter says is the sole reason she’s grateful she wasn’t a teen in the 80’s. We’re hypercompetitive, overachieving, diet-culture believing parents who grew up without the internet because Al Gore hadn’t invented it yet, and without the yin and yang of technology and social media.

We grew up with all focus on the external. No one asked us, “How are you feeling today?” No one cared. Even if someone had asked, we wouldn’t have had a clue how to respond.

Cable was MTV (totally) and not 24 hour a day news like today’s teens are exposed to. Of course, us GenX parents experienced global disasters and tragedy, but without social media there was a natural buffer, so we weren’t inundated constantly with tragic news.

At times, we felt helpless (for sure), but were not constantly reminded of our
helplessness and a sense of impending doom as we mindlessly scrolled through our phones. Cordless phones were super high tech and for the 1% at the time.

There’s no doubt, the 80’s were fun, but were served up with a fakeness and
superficiality like a side order of tasty pre super-size McDonald’s fries.

This just in from AAP (American Academy of Pediatrics) News:
Pre-pandemic About 21% of teens experienced a major depressive episode and
9% of children and adolescents experienced anxiety even before the stress of the COVID-19 pandemic wreaked havoc on their lives.

Morbidity and Mortality – A Look at Mental Health of Children and Teens 2013 – 2019

A new study from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC)
published in the Morbidity and Mortality Weekly Report takes an in-depth look at the mental health of children and adolescents from 2013-’19. They pulled data from nine federal surveillance systems and found that among youths ages 3-17 years:

  • 10% of children and adolescents had received mental health treatment in the year before the survey
  • 10% of children and adolescents had received mental health treatment in
    the year before the survey
  • 10% had attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder
  • 9% had experienced anxiety problems
  • 9% had experienced behavioral/conduct problems
  • 8% had taken medication for mental health problems in the previous year
  • 4% had experienced depression and 2% met the autism spectrum disorder surveillance case definition.

Some of the data sets looked specifically at adolescents/teens, including age
ranges of 12-17 or 14-18 years. These data showed:

  • 37% persistently felt sad or hopeless for at least two weeks
  • 26% received mental health services
  • 21% had experienced a major depressive episode
  • 19% had seriously considered attempting suicide in the previous year
  • 9% had attempted suicide in the previous year
  • 7/100,000 adolescents ages 10-19 years died by suicide in 2018 and 2019
  • 4% had a substance use disorder in the previous year.

Previous studies indicate 40% of children will have met the criteria for a mental health condition by the time they reach adulthood. The stress of the pandemic has exacerbated these issues.

Late last year, the AAP, American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry and Children’s Hospital Association declared a national emergency in children’s mental health, and the U.S. surgeon general issued an advisory calling for action to protect the mental health of youths.

Russia Invades Ukraine


“Did you talk about Russia and Ukraine today at school?” I asked my senior and freshman.

“Yes”, they responded and then we left it at that. We have strong opinions and conversations in our house, but never once did my husband or I ask our teens,

“How are you feeling today? Russia invading Ukraine is big news and I’ve been thinking about you and wanting to check in to see how you are feeling.”

If I asked this, my teens might literally put down their phones, look at each other, and finally agree on something. “Who is this woman in our kitchen who looks just like our Mom?”

With all of today’s tragedies it can be overwhelming, bringing up the legitimate question, “Is it even possible for GenX parents to actually help our teens process global tragedies?”

Us GenX parents may be short on introspection, but love our children beyond
measure. I guess those cheesy 80’s love songs must have struck a chord with
our parenting.

10 Ways to Support Your Teen During a Global Tragedy

Here are 10 ways to support your teen during a global tragedy:

  1. Discuss issues by asking, “How are you feeling?” to let your teen know you care about them and how they are processing the news.
  2. Don’t try to fix or solve or invalidate your teen’s feelings by saying things like, “It’s okay.”. Instead, listen, listen, listen. Get comfortable with leaving the conversation with, “It’s terrible. It’s so tragic. It’s horrible.”
  3. Global issues are constantly evolving and changing. It’s not a one and done conversation. There’s no finish line. Be open to having ongoing conversations with your teen on the same issue
  4. Support your teen to practice Intentional Self-care (See IME Community Top 10 Self-Care Tips for Teens)
  5. Recognize you don’t cause or control suffering for you, for your teen or for the world. You are a part of a common humanity of joys and suffering and so is your teen.
  6. Decide how you want to show up for your teen and where you want to put your attentional focus.
  7. All of life is a duality. It’s a mix of good and bad. Let your teen know it’s okay to have a mix of emotions. It’s okay to have fun with friends and also care deeply about global issues.
  8. Don’t shame your teen if your teen copes with emotions by buffering with food, sleep or social media.
  9. Stay in your lane. How are you working it out for yourself? Check in internally with yourself and ask, “How am I feeling?”
  10. Decide which experts you are going to learn from and what news outlets you want to follow. None is okay too. Monitor your inputs and outputs on social media. Consider a social media cleanse.

Us Gen-X parents have not evolved when it comes to becoming introspective, but the world has changed and the stakes are high for our teens. Let’s stop waiting for Michael J. Fox to pick us up in the DeLorean and take us “Back to the Future”. It’s time for us to parent up!

Self-love superpower, 

Dr. Karla, ActivistMD


Self-Kindness Is the Key to Your Health Goals

Self-Kindness Is the Key to Your Health Goals

I talk about self-love superpower all the time, but where should you start to get there?

Self-love superpower starts with self-kindness

Self-kindness leads to self-trust that you will have your own back as you take action.  Then, when you trust yourself to be kind to yourself no matter what, you can do anything! 

Self-kindness and self-trust go together like PB&J

Do you believe you can be kind and compassionate with yourself and reach your goals and get whatever you want in life?  

I’m sure you’re saying, duh, of course.  Whatever.

Hold up.  I’m onto you.  I coach teens and know from being a human myself that it’s easy to believe this in theory, but, when it comes to taking action, especially on a goal you set for yourself, the negative self-talk, inner critic voice starts yapping away! 

Stop Listening to Your Inner Critic

Instead of listening to your inner critic, start being your inner hype person.  

Start by recognizing when you’re being hard on yourself and create a pause.  You may feel tired, not getting the results you want, or coping with overeating food.  

Thoughts create feelings which drive our action and inaction.  

You are not your inner critic voice.  You are not your thoughts.  When you feel that negative self-talk coming up, create a pause and then an opportunity to soften up and be kind to yourself.   

A Self-Love Daily Mantra

Try this daily mantra:

“I am kind to myself no matter what!”

Make sure you check out and Join the IME membership community if you are a teen, 12 to 18, ready to permanently cancel diet culture, health yourself, and co-create a Body Positive community in a body negative world!

Join IME Community to Level Up Your Self Love Superpower

To Level Up on your self-love superpower toolkit, Join IME Community for my coaching on zoom! Off to write more mantras!

Self-love superpower, 

Dr. Karla, ActivistMD


Life Coaching Gen-X Parents of Teens on Russia’s Invasion of Ukraine

Self-Love Superpower Mantras – February 2022

What a great theme for the February IME Community Self-Love superpower daily mantras.

February was a powerful month of mantras! We canceled diet culture, let go of the negative self-talk and learned the power of showing up for yourself!

Pick out the daily mantras that are a good fit for you, write them down, change them up if you want and post them on your bulletin board or write them in a journal.  

Follow IME Community on TikTok to get my Dr. Karla daily self-love superpower mantras and make sure you Join IME Community membership if you’re a teen, 12 to 18, or parent of a teen, and I’ll coach you to fill up your self-love superpower toolkit!

The theme of March mantras goes along with March Madness (Rock Chalk Jayhawk!):

Self-Worth is an inside game!

Here’s your IME Community February Self-Love Superpower Daily Mantras:

  • 2/1 – I no longer let diet culture set food rules for my body.

  • 2/2- Giving up diet thinking is letting go of self-harm.

  • 2/3  I will take time to heal from diet culture trauma.

  • 2/4- I’m not wasting any more time imagining being thinner.

  • 2/5 – I am entitled to rage at the diet industry machine.

  • 2/6- I’m done with fighting and shaming my body.  Like right now!

  • 2/7- I can befriend the mean girl in my head.

  • 2/8- My pursuit of thinness is really a pursuit for society’s thin privilege and is a big waste of my magical life!

  • 2/9- I’m ready to show up for myself when no one is looking.

  • 2/10- The truth of my own body’s story is beautiful.

  • 2/11- The truth is I love taking risk.  I eat risk for breakfast!

  • 2/12- I believe I can be kind and compassionate with myself and achieve my goals!

  • 2/13- I am ready to block anyone who weight bullies me!

  • 2/14- When I compare my body to someone else’s body, it’s a micro-aggression against myself. 

  • 2/15- Time is too precious to waste beating myself up and wishing I was different.

  • 2/16- I can’t hate myself and reach any goal!

  • 2/17- My habits are 100% based on cues in my environment.

  • 2/18- I don’t waste my time rationalizing the behavior of weight bullies!

  • 2/19- I can write a letter to break up with diet culture and create my own weight neutral definition of health. 

  • 2/20- My body, my face, my soul is my beauty standard!

  • 2/21- I recognize when I’m judging and shaming others, I’m judging and shaming myself.

  • 2/22- I can drop my pursuit of thin privilege like a book and live my fun life!

  • 2/23- When I give up diet thinking and fully love and accept myself now, I am well on my way to my health goals.

  • 2/24- I can navigate weight bias at the doctor.  I am not powerless.

  • 2/25- Instead of “what I eat in a day”, I’m going to focus on “what music I listen to in a day”.

  • 2/26- When someone thinks they can silence me, I get louder.

  • 2/27- I always speak my truth.

  • 2/28- No matter what’s happening in the world, it’s okay if I feel happy.

See you in IME Community!

Join IME Community to Level Up Your Self Love Superpower

To Level Up on your self-love superpower toolkit, Join IME Community for my coaching on zoom! Off to write more mantras!

Self-love superpower, 

Dr. Karla, ActivistMD

Setting Boundaries to Stop Weight Bullying

Setting Boundaries to Stop Weight Bullying

First on the anti weight bullying playlist for the week is “We’re not gonna take it” by Twisted Sister, a real get you pumped up to set some powerful boundaries with bullies 80’s rock song. Video is hilarious too in case you want to transport yourself back to the 80’s.

How Do You Set Boundaries Against Weight  Bullying?

When it comes to setting boundaries, are you an avoidant or compliant or are you an aggressive or manipulative controller? I doubt you’re a controller if you are reading this blog, and most likely are an avoidant or compliant who doesn’t want to deal with conflict or hasn’t been taught the skill of setting a boundary. I get you. That’s where I’ve been most of my life, especially when it comes to setting boundaries for myself. 

You are worthy of setting boundaries. 

Sometimes teens don’t want to share if they are being bullied, let alone set a boundary and speak up. 

Boundary setting is self-love superpower.  Setting boundaries and following through creates self-trust that you have your own back.  

Did you know we were created to set boundaries? Setting boundaries is a part of living a healthy life and I’m not talking about food boundaries or being strict and rigid with boundaries. 

I love the book, “Boundaries” by Dr. Henry Cloud & Dr. John Townsend.  Check it out!

Dr. Karla Lester talks about setting boundaries against bullying

How to Decide When to Set Boundaries

How do you decide when and in what situations to set boundaries? What are the different kinds of boundaries you can set? I guarantee you are setting boundaries even when you don’t think you are. 

Sitting in class, Jill couldn’t help but feel someone staring at her. She turned her head and he was staring right at her, the kid with his hoodie on, sitting behind and diagonally to her, just watching her.  

So creepy.  

Jill could literally almost feel his breathing.  

Her Mom said, “Maybe he likes you.” 

“Um, no.  He’s trying to make a statement about me being fat.” 

“How do you know that?” 

“I just know.” 

“Did you talk to the teacher about it?”

“Yes, I tried anyway, but she said to ignore it and it will stop.  But, that hasn’t worked.  All I want to do is just sit in class in peace and it’s so hard to focus when someone keeps staring at me.”  

Jill (not her real name) was a patient of mine and I was so sad that she was being bullied sitting in class.  How creepy and distracting! Keep reading this blog and you’ll see how the IME Community teen members suggested coaching Jill to set boundaries.  

Our society and culture lack boundaries because of the entitled belief that it’s okay to openly comment on another person’s body. The reality is humans can be harsh and boundaryless at times and we all experience aggression toward us in our life as part of our common humanity.  

I know if you’re reading this, you’ll agree with me that it’s not okay to weight bully anyone.

Learn to Be Your Own Upstander and Overcome False Beliefs About Bullying

Bullies are cowards.  It’s true.  

What’s also true is, you don’t have to fix or solve the bully or change yourself in any way.  You don’t cause or control all the things in life. 

If you spend your time thinking that it shouldn’t be happening and hope the bully will wake up and be a decent human and stop bullying, you may be wasting your time. Also, if you’re spending time wishing it wasn’t happening when it is, that won’t help either. What you can control is how you show up to create self-trust that you will have your own back. 

Another truth is you are not powerless and you can create boundaries to stop the bullying for you.  

I know what you’re thinking because I was in your shoes as someone who was more passive and non-confrontational. I had never been taught to set boundaries for myself.  I thought I had to be nice all the time and then hope it would just go away.  Now, I look back on my life, at the times that I set a boundary with a bully, and there have been many, and it’s just absolutely glorious to look back on.  

The level of self-trust and self-worth that I created just perpetuates itself. It has given me so much self-confidence.  

Here are some more Boundary setting false beliefs that you may have:

It’s mean to set a boundary.

It will make things worse for me. 

I can’t set a boundary.

I will feel guilty if I set a boundary. 

Do you know what an Upstander is? 

Are you like me? You can stick up for someone else at the drop of a hat, but when it comes to yourself, that’s a different story.  Sticking up for a friend or peer who is being bullied is called being an Upstander. I will talk more about being an Upstander in an upcoming blog.  

Did you know you can be your own Upstander?

What did I do with Jill’s situation? I took it to the community and let the teen IME Community members coach on it and it was epic. We had been coaching on the different kinds of boundary setting and they were able to coach on setting a physical boundary, an emotional boundary, a verbal boundary, and how Jill could advocate for herself to create a plan so the bullying will stop.  

Create Physical and Verbal Boundaries Against Weight Bullying

Fence with PRIVATE sign - no public access

Create a Physical Boundary: 

Let’s take a boundary setting approach to stop weight bullying for ourselves too. Remember, you can always walk away and that is setting a physical boundary and is not giving up. Walking away is a powerful boundary and without words can send a powerful message. 

  • Move to a different seat.
  • Talk to your teacher about sitting somewhere else if there is assigned seating. 
  • Change classes if you need to. (I know. I know. The bully should be the one to change classes.)
  • Take a different route to class if possible.
  • Change up the timing of your route to class. 

Word Boundaries Jill might try:

  • You’re making me feel uncomfortable.  
  • I’m uncomfortable with you staring at me. 
  • Stop staring at me. 
  • I’m uncomfortable.

Setting boundaries with words:  

From a Psychology Today article, memorize a simple statement is the #1 thing to do from “8 Things Kids Can Say and Do to Stop Bullying” by Signe Whitson, L.S.W. She calls them Bully Bans. 

Let’s practice some boundary setting words (Bully Bans): 

Stop saying that to me.

I heard you the first time. 

Stop bullying me.

You’re crossing the line.


My ears work just fine.  I heard you the first time you said it. 

Way to be original.

Emotional boundaries are powerful 

Bullies project their weaknesses and insecurities onto their victims.  Bullies are not coming from a powerful place when they bully.  They are coming from a weak place of insecurity.  The bully’s insecurities and weaknesses are not ours to fix or solve.  Let’s believe them when they say who they are.    

I’ve heard so many stories from teens about how they defended themselves and then ended up with the same consequence as the bully. Setting a boundary isn’t fighting back as much as it is diffusing the situation to stop the bullying for you.  In other words, don’t get in the mix with the bully.  Don’t degrade yourself to the level of the bully.  That doesn’t mean you don’t stand up for yourself and make powerful bully ban statements. 

By all means, please do.  You can even do a mental rehearsal.  It’s like a play you’re writing and you’re the hero who saves the day for yourself.  

Recognize you don’t cause or control what another human being says.  

What you do control is how you want to show up and where to put your attentional focus.  

That’s powerful. 

Remember, our thoughts create our feelings and our feelings drive our actions or inactions. If you are feeling stuck and powerless in a bullying situation, try to write down your thoughts and beliefs about the situation. If you keep believing that thought without challenging it or realizing your brain is attached to it because of fear (is a human response and makes sense), then you will stay stuck with that belief, the fear and the inaction. 

Why you shouldn’t ignore bullying:

The problem with letting bullying go is that the bullying has to go somewhere and guess where it’s going to go? To you.  If not challenged, you may start to internalize it.  Or, you may believe if you change something about yourself, like your body size, that your bully will stop.  That’s not always true. If you believe you are the one that’s broken and not the bully, you may restrict your eating or binge eat to cope with the stress to avoid the stress of bullying.  

By the way, I want you to know that I know it’s not always as easy as creating boundary statements or talking to a trusted adult to create a plan to stop the bullying.  I encourage you to talk with your doctor because bullying is a preventative health issue and also work with a therapist to heal from trauma.  

Remember, you are unbroken and a perfectly incredible magic being who is meant to live your fun life.  


Bullying comes from a place of complete weakness, powerlessness, and insecurity.  

Here are your action steps:

  • Visit
  • Write your Bully Bans
  • Write down some beliefs you have about setting boundaries.
  • What would it feel like to have your own back and set a boundary for yourself? Massive self-trust and massive self-worth?
  • Do a mental rehearsal.  Visualize and practice it using your Bully Bans. Role play and say your Bully Bans with casual confidence.

How do you want to show up for yourself? One powerful decision creates powerful clarity for your next step. Make sure you connect with a trusted adult to help create a plan so the bullying stops for you.

I’ve got your back. I only care about helping you and when I coach you in IME Community, we are going to stay in your lane and not in the business of the bully trying to convince or thinking they shouldn’t be bullying or waste our time figuring out why they are bullying. We believe them when they have shown us who they are. 

Let them be who they are and let them be wrong about you. 

Self-love superpower, 

Dr. Karla, ActivistMD