“But first lemme take a selfie”

A selfie is worth a thousand words, or at least a thousand Instagram comments.

There’s More to Selfies Than Pose and Click

I’m horrible at taking selfies.  Like, really bad.  I never know where to look, so I always look like I’m staring off to the side.  My kids make relentless fun of my selfie ineptitude.  In fact, one time, my oldest daughter, Katherine, got on my phone and got all my selfies together and posted them on Instagram with the caption, “My Mom’s a Savage.”

I actually took this as a compliment!

The other day I was life coaching a teen in IME Community on pictures, social media and all the things.

I always learn so much from life coaching.  It’s my all-time favorite.   

I don’t really find that teens are obsessed with taking selfies and posting them on social media. 

Teens are much more nuanced than us parents when it comes to social media platforms. 

Self-Judging About Selfies

Teens are obsessed with self-judging before posting said selfies. It makes total sense, especially if you read my recent blog on Cyberbullying and Teens. 

It’s a part of perfectionism, which is a harmful thought habit that keeps us from showing up as our true authentic selves ready to live our fun magical lives! 

More on perfectionism reset and Make It Fun to Get It Done coming up in IME Community!

There’s so much pressure, not to post necessarily, but if you want to post, teens feel the pressure to get ahead of their post and make it “perfect” to avoid criticism.  

Stop Bullying Yourself – Perfect Doesn’t Exist

Let’s repeat that: Perfect. Doesn’t Exist.

  •     “I look bad in that pic.”  
  •     “Let’s take another one.” 
  •     “That’s a bad angle.”  
  •     “I hate what I’m wearing.” 
  •     “Why does everyone else look good, but I look horrible?”

You’re judging yourself before it even goes out into the world.

“It’s permanent once I post it.” 

That’s a thought. Thoughts create feelings. “It’s permanent” creates fear which will drive the action to get stuck in self-judging perfectionism. 

Not challenging thoughts means you stay stuck in current patterns, results and reality.

Sure, that selfie becomes part of the manufactured digital universe, but it never has to permanently affect you in your mind. 

Going to Post a Selfie? Try Thinking About It This Way

Try these thoughts instead:

  •     This is a random selfie and I’m having fun.
  •     I’m willing to let people judge me. 
  •     I like my reasons for posting this selfie. 
  •     I have my own back.  

Once you post from a place of self-love, you create self-trust which is a huge self-confidence build.  You start taking more action which perpetuates more action and so on and so on. 

If your teen is indulging in selfie overwhelm, offer up one of the Dr. Karla thought challenges as a new perspective and then let it go. 

Trust your teen to create selfie self-trust and figure it out on their own. 

Make sure you join IME Community if you’re a teen, 12 to 18 or parent of a teen who is ready to cancel diet culture and co-create a body positive community in a body negative world!

Self-love superpower, 

Dr. Karla, ActivistMD