Setting Boundaries to Stop Weight Bullying

Setting Boundaries to Stop Weight Bullying

First on the anti weight bullying playlist for the week is “We’re not gonna take it” by Twisted Sister, a real get you pumped up to set some powerful boundaries with bullies 80’s rock song. Video is hilarious too in case you want to transport yourself back to the 80’s.

How Do You Set Boundaries Against Weight  Bullying?

When it comes to setting boundaries, are you an avoidant or compliant or are you an aggressive or manipulative controller? I doubt you’re a controller if you are reading this blog, and most likely are an avoidant or compliant who doesn’t want to deal with conflict or hasn’t been taught the skill of setting a boundary. I get you. That’s where I’ve been most of my life, especially when it comes to setting boundaries for myself. 

You are worthy of setting boundaries. 

Sometimes teens don’t want to share if they are being bullied, let alone set a boundary and speak up. 

Boundary setting is self-love superpower.  Setting boundaries and following through creates self-trust that you have your own back.  

Did you know we were created to set boundaries? Setting boundaries is a part of living a healthy life and I’m not talking about food boundaries or being strict and rigid with boundaries. 

I love the book, “Boundaries” by Dr. Henry Cloud & Dr. John Townsend.  Check it out!

Dr. Karla Lester talks about setting boundaries against bullying

How to Decide When to Set Boundaries

How do you decide when and in what situations to set boundaries? What are the different kinds of boundaries you can set? I guarantee you are setting boundaries even when you don’t think you are. 

Sitting in class, Jill couldn’t help but feel someone staring at her. She turned her head and he was staring right at her, the kid with his hoodie on, sitting behind and diagonally to her, just watching her.  

So creepy.  

Jill could literally almost feel his breathing.  

Her Mom said, “Maybe he likes you.” 

“Um, no.  He’s trying to make a statement about me being fat.” 

“How do you know that?” 

“I just know.” 

“Did you talk to the teacher about it?”

“Yes, I tried anyway, but she said to ignore it and it will stop.  But, that hasn’t worked.  All I want to do is just sit in class in peace and it’s so hard to focus when someone keeps staring at me.”  

Jill (not her real name) was a patient of mine and I was so sad that she was being bullied sitting in class.  How creepy and distracting! Keep reading this blog and you’ll see how the IME Community teen members suggested coaching Jill to set boundaries.  

Our society and culture lack boundaries because of the entitled belief that it’s okay to openly comment on another person’s body. The reality is humans can be harsh and boundaryless at times and we all experience aggression toward us in our life as part of our common humanity.  

I know if you’re reading this, you’ll agree with me that it’s not okay to weight bully anyone.

Learn to Be Your Own Upstander and Overcome False Beliefs About Bullying

Bullies are cowards.  It’s true.  

What’s also true is, you don’t have to fix or solve the bully or change yourself in any way.  You don’t cause or control all the things in life. 

If you spend your time thinking that it shouldn’t be happening and hope the bully will wake up and be a decent human and stop bullying, you may be wasting your time. Also, if you’re spending time wishing it wasn’t happening when it is, that won’t help either. What you can control is how you show up to create self-trust that you will have your own back. 

Another truth is you are not powerless and you can create boundaries to stop the bullying for you.  

I know what you’re thinking because I was in your shoes as someone who was more passive and non-confrontational. I had never been taught to set boundaries for myself.  I thought I had to be nice all the time and then hope it would just go away.  Now, I look back on my life, at the times that I set a boundary with a bully, and there have been many, and it’s just absolutely glorious to look back on.  

The level of self-trust and self-worth that I created just perpetuates itself. It has given me so much self-confidence.  

Here are some more Boundary setting false beliefs that you may have:

It’s mean to set a boundary.

It will make things worse for me. 

I can’t set a boundary.

I will feel guilty if I set a boundary. 

Do you know what an Upstander is? 

Are you like me? You can stick up for someone else at the drop of a hat, but when it comes to yourself, that’s a different story.  Sticking up for a friend or peer who is being bullied is called being an Upstander. I will talk more about being an Upstander in an upcoming blog.  

Did you know you can be your own Upstander?

What did I do with Jill’s situation? I took it to the community and let the teen IME Community members coach on it and it was epic. We had been coaching on the different kinds of boundary setting and they were able to coach on setting a physical boundary, an emotional boundary, a verbal boundary, and how Jill could advocate for herself to create a plan so the bullying will stop.  

Create Physical and Verbal Boundaries Against Weight Bullying

Fence with PRIVATE sign - no public access

Create a Physical Boundary: 

Let’s take a boundary setting approach to stop weight bullying for ourselves too. Remember, you can always walk away and that is setting a physical boundary and is not giving up. Walking away is a powerful boundary and without words can send a powerful message. 

  • Move to a different seat.
  • Talk to your teacher about sitting somewhere else if there is assigned seating. 
  • Change classes if you need to. (I know. I know. The bully should be the one to change classes.)
  • Take a different route to class if possible.
  • Change up the timing of your route to class. 

Word Boundaries Jill might try:

  • You’re making me feel uncomfortable.  
  • I’m uncomfortable with you staring at me. 
  • Stop staring at me. 
  • I’m uncomfortable.

Setting boundaries with words:  

From a Psychology Today article, memorize a simple statement is the #1 thing to do from “8 Things Kids Can Say and Do to Stop Bullying” by Signe Whitson, L.S.W. She calls them Bully Bans. 

Let’s practice some boundary setting words (Bully Bans): 

Stop saying that to me.

I heard you the first time. 

Stop bullying me.

You’re crossing the line.

Whatever.

My ears work just fine.  I heard you the first time you said it. 

Way to be original.

Emotional boundaries are powerful 

Bullies project their weaknesses and insecurities onto their victims.  Bullies are not coming from a powerful place when they bully.  They are coming from a weak place of insecurity.  The bully’s insecurities and weaknesses are not ours to fix or solve.  Let’s believe them when they say who they are.    

I’ve heard so many stories from teens about how they defended themselves and then ended up with the same consequence as the bully. Setting a boundary isn’t fighting back as much as it is diffusing the situation to stop the bullying for you.  In other words, don’t get in the mix with the bully.  Don’t degrade yourself to the level of the bully.  That doesn’t mean you don’t stand up for yourself and make powerful bully ban statements. 

By all means, please do.  You can even do a mental rehearsal.  It’s like a play you’re writing and you’re the hero who saves the day for yourself.  

Recognize you don’t cause or control what another human being says.  

What you do control is how you want to show up and where to put your attentional focus.  

That’s powerful. 

Remember, our thoughts create our feelings and our feelings drive our actions or inactions. If you are feeling stuck and powerless in a bullying situation, try to write down your thoughts and beliefs about the situation. If you keep believing that thought without challenging it or realizing your brain is attached to it because of fear (is a human response and makes sense), then you will stay stuck with that belief, the fear and the inaction. 

Why you shouldn’t ignore bullying:

The problem with letting bullying go is that the bullying has to go somewhere and guess where it’s going to go? To you.  If not challenged, you may start to internalize it.  Or, you may believe if you change something about yourself, like your body size, that your bully will stop.  That’s not always true. If you believe you are the one that’s broken and not the bully, you may restrict your eating or binge eat to cope with the stress to avoid the stress of bullying.  

By the way, I want you to know that I know it’s not always as easy as creating boundary statements or talking to a trusted adult to create a plan to stop the bullying.  I encourage you to talk with your doctor because bullying is a preventative health issue and also work with a therapist to heal from trauma.  

Remember, you are unbroken and a perfectly incredible magic being who is meant to live your fun life.  

Remember,

Bullying comes from a place of complete weakness, powerlessness, and insecurity.  

Here are your action steps:

  • Visit StopBullying.gov
  • Write your Bully Bans
  • Write down some beliefs you have about setting boundaries.
  • What would it feel like to have your own back and set a boundary for yourself? Massive self-trust and massive self-worth?
  • Do a mental rehearsal.  Visualize and practice it using your Bully Bans. Role play and say your Bully Bans with casual confidence.

How do you want to show up for yourself? One powerful decision creates powerful clarity for your next step. Make sure you connect with a trusted adult to help create a plan so the bullying stops for you.

I’ve got your back. I only care about helping you and when I coach you in IME Community, we are going to stay in your lane and not in the business of the bully trying to convince or thinking they shouldn’t be bullying or waste our time figuring out why they are bullying. We believe them when they have shown us who they are. 

Let them be who they are and let them be wrong about you. 

Self-love superpower, 

Dr. Karla, ActivistMD

 

Teens and Bullying

Teens and Bullying

Hey, 

Whether you are a teen, parent, physician, healthcare provider, teacher or school administrator, listen up! I want you to know that I’m coaching you on a very sensitive topic in this first blog of my ongoing series. In my teens and weight bullying series, I’m talking about bullying and its harmful effects, how common it is, who’s at risk, the different types of bullying, the causes of bullying, but, most importantly, what you can do about it. 

Did you know that any type of bullying affects your health?  

Make sure you work with your pediatrician or family doctor and/or seek help from a licensed mental health provider to address your individual situation and potential mental health effects. 

Anti-Bullying Information and Resources

I would love for you to go to stopbullying.gov to check out their helpful resources. 

Also, I’m not going to get into bullying and intersectionality in this first blog.  Intersectional bullying happens based on race, gender, income, sexual orientation, etc. I’ll talk more about intersectional bullying in upcoming blogs in this series. 

Basically, a bully is someone who is willing to weaponize what they perceive as a weakness, with their only goal to make themselves feel powerful. 

Bullies seek to control the narrative.  

Maybe they were bullied?  It’s often the case.  When I coach teens who have been bullied and parents of children and teens who have been weight bullied, I try to stay out of getting in the lane of the “bully/victim”.  In other words, stay out of trying to figure out the bully’s motivation for bullying. They have shown you who they are.  Let’s focus on what you can do.  

We can’t control or fix or solve the bully’s actions, but we can certainly create a plan that includes boundaries so it stops for you if you’re being bullied.  

One of the main reasons to set boundaries is to make sure you don’t internalize the bully’s messaging. I don’t want you to feel powerless and believe what the bully says about you or feel like if you change yourself, the bullying will stop or you will finally “fit in”.  

Another harmful consequence of weight bullying in teens is restricting yourself by dieting, which causes harm on top of harm. The bullying is harmful, let’s not create more harm for ourselves with the punishing restriction of calories. 

By the way, if you cope with the stress of bullying by overeating or binging, give yourself a massive break.  It’s okay.  You’re not alone. 

Check out my IME 5 Steps to say I aM mE, which are my 5 easy steps to full love and acceptance and the first step to self-love superpower.  

Recognize, that self-acceptance is available to you all the time.  If you’re bullied, pull out your nice warm invisible self-acceptance blanket and say, 

“I fully love and accept myself.”  

Try some other mantras like, 

“Bullying is unacceptable. I accept myself no matter what.” 

Put your hand over your heart and give yourself a nurturing hug.  

  • “I’m not powerless.  I am not stuck.” 
  • “This is so hard.  I won’t be hard on myself.” 
  • “I can set healthy boundaries for myself.” 
  • “What they said has nothing to do with me.”  
  • “I will set boundaries and let them be them and live my amazing life.”    

Causes of Bullying

Have you been bullied because of your weight? 

Or, for any reason? 

Studies show that it’s more common than we like to think. There are multiple causes of bullying.

Unfortunately, some people still believe enduring bullying is a rite of passage into adulthood. Nothing could be further from the truth. 

Bullying is a preventative health issue. 

It’s important to recognize and address bullying or it can cause long-term harm. 

According to a 2012 Weight-Based Victimization (WBV) Study, published in Pediatrics, “WBV is prevalent in treatment-seeking youth, who report victimization from peers (92%), friends (70%), parents (37%), and teachers (27%).” 

If you’re a physician, let’s start by listening and validating the stories of our patients’ experience with weight-based victimization. 

Life in America is a bullying obstacle course for youth with weight struggles. 

Bullying Stories

“I’m ostracized everywhere I go because of my weight. Sitting in class. Everywhere.”-Jessica, age 18 

When I heard Jessica, one of my patients say this, it broke my heart.  It’s just not one of those bullying stories that anyone should have to endure.

Jessica (not her name) is absolutely wonderful and is living a very successful life.  She’s so strong and has been through and overcome so much in her life. The last thing she needs to deal with is weight-based bullying. 

My initial thought was give me the names of whoever is bullying you and I’ll make some calls.  I felt so protective of Jessica. If only it were that simple.  A trusted adult makes a call and it stops. 

It may not be that simple, but know that you are not alone. 

You are not alone. 

You Are Neither Alone Nor Powerless

Bunny and puppy hugging

There are trusted adults who want to help you and will create a plan to stop the bullying. It may be as simple as making a phone call, but usually you need to put a bit more planning in place. Learning how to set healthy boundaries for yourself is a skill that you are not taught in school.  More often than not, families and society can be pretty intrusive and boundaryless.  

Even if you are a victim of bullying, you are not powerless.

Set Boundaries and Work With Your Support System

I coach a lot on boundaries and relationships in IME Community.

I coach on setting some boundaries for yourself so you are able to show up with clarity for yourself. 

First, bullying is not acceptable and must be recognized and called out as unacceptable. 

Next, let’s step up as trusted adults and work with the school (teacher and/or counselor) if that’s where the bullying is happening, and create a plan to stop the bullying so school is a safe place. 

Here’s what’s needed from parents, physicians and educators to help stop bullying: 

  • Support
  • Build Skills
  • Connect to resources
  • School Involvement
  • Referral to mental health provider
  • Follow-up to check in 

How to support the “bully/victim” is important too. A harsh approach does not work. 

Make sure you check out stopbullying.gov and make sure you Join IME Community to get even more coaching to create healthy boundaries! 

IME Community is a safe space, a Body Positive Community for Teens in a Body Negative World! 

Self-love superpower, 

Dr. Karla, ActivistMD

Top 10 Self Care Tips for Teens

Top 10 Self Care Tips for Teens

What is self-care?

I know what you’re thinking.  I’ve thought it too.  

Isn’t self-care like burning a beachy candle or meditating or cheesy stuff like that? 

Or, how about,

Isn’t self-care just another thing I’m told I need to do to be happy? Isn’t self-care just another thing to check off my to-do list that I never actually get done and then feel bad about not doing? 

It can seem that way, but let’s think of self-care in a new and different way, that’s actually really helpful and fun! 

What Self Care Is…and What It Isn’t

Self-care doesn’t have to be about spending money you don’t have or taking action when you feel tired already. 

Self-care also isn’t spending hours on screens or sleeping a ton. 

Sure, screen time and taking an epic nap can be part of self-care. Avoid calling buffering or numbing out with screens and sleep (screen time or sleeping to avoid discomfort), self-care. 

Nerd alert!  

If you need more self-care research and data, here’s an article from Psychology Today with information on why self-care in teens and young adults is so needed at this time in our world. 

There are also some really helpful bonus self-care tools included in this article.  

IME Community has our own definition of self-care and Top 10 Self-Care Tips for Teens!  

IME Community’s Definition of Self-Care

Any action a human takes to improve mental or physical health and well-being! 

That’s really it and sounds awesome, doesn’t it? What are you waiting for? Let’s get going! 

And Now, the Self-Care Tips…

Here’s a GTK (good to know), the IME Community Top 10 Self-Care Tips for Teens aren’t exactly in any order of importance. 

It’s up to you to decide where to start and how many to try and practice regularly. 

With any action you take, just start, know you can’t go wrong and you get to try the next thing, add to the list, and create your own Top 10 Self-Care Tips for (fill in your name here). The key is to keep going and start showing up for yourself! 

Self-Care Tip #1: Laugh as much as possible.

  • at Funny movie lines 
  • with the class clown
  • at a Funny YouTube video

Self-Care Tip #2: Tap into your creative side.

  • Draw something; make something; write something; sing something! 
  • Create a WordCloud collage of your favorite things- cut them out from a newspaper or magazine.
  • There are no limits to your big magic creativity! 

Self-Care Tip #3: Let Music transform your brain.

  • Create a playlist that pumps you up. 
  • Create a playlist that chills you out.

Self-Care Tip #4: Take a social media cleanse. 

  • Connect with friends!
  • Get outside and make a connection with nature!
  • Try cooking a new food or lots of new foods!

Self-Care Tip #5: Hang with your pets. 

  • Visit an animal shelter.
  • Be of service in your community.
  • Think outside of yourself.

Self-Care Tip #6: Practice daily Gratitude. 

  • Write down 3 things you are grateful for every day.
  • Ask yourself an Empowering Question of the day (How can I show up as my best self today?).
  • Write your own self-love superpower mantra (positive belief) on a post-it note. 

Self-Care Tip #7: Declutter the junk 

  • Write your to do list from what you’ve done today and then cross it off to show yourself how much action you take!
  • Set a timer for 15 minutes and declutter one space (your room, desk, backpack, laundry basket).
  • Practice personal hygiene by taking good care of your skin, taking a shower, wearing your favorite clothes. 

Self-Care Tip #8: Be your future self now 

  • Who are you at the end of 2022?  How will you feel at the end of 2022?  
  • Create that same feeling now! Fake it ‘til you make it. 
  • Wear clothes you love and you feel comfortable in now.   

Self-Care Tip #9: Take time for self-discovery.

Pretend you’re a famous guest on your favorite podcast and grab that hairbrush or spatula from the kitchen as a mic, check yourself out in front of the bathroom mirror and answer these questions: 

  • What do you want? 
  • What are you proud of? 
  • What do you do to be creative? 
  • What do you do for fun? 

Self-Care Tip #10: Calm down and move your body.

  • Practice meditation for a few minutes a day by using an app like Headspace. 
  • Try the 4-7-8 breathing technique by breathing in for 4 seconds, holding the breath for 7 seconds, and exhaling for 8 seconds. 
  • Get your body moving with minimum baseline movement (a few stretches will do it- heck, twerk for all I care. You can get out of bed and do it, while you’re brushing your teeth (please tell me you are brushing your teeth) or before you go to bed or when you get home from school during breaks with studying. Your body was made to move. Remember, all movement counts. Doesn’t have to be a big deal.)
Final Challenge – You Are Lovable Always: IME Reverse Your Insulin Resistance Challenge Week 12

Final Challenge – You Are Lovable Always: IME Reverse Your Insulin Resistance Challenge Week 12

IME/UBU Monday

  • We are talking Relationships and boundaries for Week 12 of the IME Reverse Your Insulin Resistance Challenge!
  • What do relationships and boundaries have to do with reversing your insulin resistance, reaching your health goals and losing weight?  I’ve told you before and I’m gonna tell you again this week that taking action on a goal you are setting for yourself is all about your relationship with yourself.  You know putting on your oxygen mask first?  We have to learn to do that and when we believe or stay attached to fixed and limited beliefs that it’s selfish to put our oxygen mask on first, then we aren’t helpful to anyone.
  • Your relationship with food is your relationship with yourself.  That’s the most important thing I can coach you on is that you are worthy and 100% lovable now and always.
  • We’ve coached on fully loving and accepting ourselves and how self-acceptance is like a warm self-acceptance blanket that is always readily available to you.  No action needed ever.  Then, we talked about self-love superpower and now we are digging deeper and talking about our relationship with ourselves and others.
  • What is a relationship?  How we feel about another person is created by our thoughts about them and same with ourselves.  Our relationship with ourselves is based on our thoughts and beliefs about ourselves.  It also has to do with our expectations we have for other people and ourselves too and if other people meet our expectations we have for them or we have for ourselves.  Sounds like lots of judging doesn’t it? Remember, when we are judging others we are often judging ourselves.  

Love yourself no matter what Tuesday

  • What is unconditional love and how do you have unconditional love for yourself?  If you don’t have unconditional love for yourself then you won’t have unconditional love for other people.  I know. I know. You’re thinking that it sounds selfish or even self-absorbed or borderline narcissistic to have unconditional love for yourself.  But, guess what? That’s only because the beliefs we have about what unconditional love is are off, just like a lot of things we have learned in our society.  We don’t challenge or question beliefs that don’t serve us and then we stay attached to those even though they don’t serve us.
  • Unconditional love is not an action.  It just is.  Unconditional self-love is internalizing the belief you are 100% lovable no matter what.  That’s it. Having unconditional love for yourself has nothing to do with your achievements, achieving your goals, your weight, your grades, the number of friends you have, nothing.  It just is.  It’s letting go of beliefs that don’t serve you and having your own back no matter what.  

Setting healthy boundaries Wednesday

  • First, what is a boundary?  It’s not a wall. Boundaries define what is me and what is not me. 
  • By the way, check out the book, “Boundaries” by Dr. Henry Cloud & Dr. John Townsend.  “Boundaries” has been one of the absolutely most helpful books in my life! 
  • Do you set boundaries for yourself? I coach teens on friend drama, especially on social media.  “Why did she block me?” How do you want to show up? Kind and firm instead of feeling like you need to be nice all the time. You may decide and you get to decide if this keeps happening that your boundary is that you decide to let her know that it’s hurtful and there is a consequence, like not engaging in the drama anymore.  This is all boundary setting.  Her friend is an example of a controller who is someone who doesn’t respect other people’s boundaries.  There are aggressive and manipulator controllers and if you are an Avoidant who says no to the good or a Compliant who often says yes to the bad (boundaryless for ourselves), then we are susceptible to the controllers. 
  • Did you know we were created to have boundaries and boundaries are not selfish.  It’s not mean to set and follow through on a boundary.  It’s more mean, especially to yourself, to not set and follow through on boundaries.  Boundaries are powerful and a part of self-love superpower and loving others.  Setting healthy boundaries is a part of creating healthy relationships and loving others.  
  • What are examples of boundaries?  “Boundaries are anything that helps to differentiate you from someone else, or shows where you begin and end.  Physical boundaries: Skin; Words; Truth; Geographical Distance; Time; Emotional Distance; Other people (Like IME Community); Consequences

Stay in your lane Thursday 

  • I’m sure you’ve heard and have been told to mind your own business.  It’s actually super helpful, but doesn’t come that easily, at least not to me. I hated it when I was little and my Mom would say, “Just mind your own busines.” 
  • One of the most important coaching sayings I learned was, “Stay in your lane”.  Have you been learning to drive? Not there yet? Well, you get the gist of “Stay in your lane”, I’m sure.  
  • One of the ways that we can cause ourselves a lot of unnecessary drama in life, and we all do this, is to live in other people’s business.  When we are not tending to our business and are instead in other people’s lanes, that’s when we can get into accidents.  We don’t control other people and they don’t control us.  Quite frankly it’s a relief.  Let people be wrong about you and let people be who they are, because they are going to be who they are whether we like it or not. 

Let go of The Checklist for TGIF

  • Have you heard of what I call The checklist?  Probably not because I made it up.  The Checklist is when we have a list of expectations for other people and often for ourselves and we walk around with a clipboard (not really, just giving you a powerful visual here) and judge and check off whether they arise to our expectations or not.  We believe that other people are responsible for what we think and feel and our results.  It’s a way to blame other people or make it mean that we have more evidence that something is broken or wrong about us.  
  • When you have expectations for others and ourselves and we put conditions on loving other people and ourselves based on whether they or we arise to our expectations.  Here’s the news for the day: You are powerless over others.  Completely powerless.  Having expectations of others is okay except when you put conditions on it and spend your time trying to navigate and control others because you believe what they say and how they behave will make you feel a certain way or help you avoid making you feel a certain way.  But, guess what? That’s not reality.  Your thoughts create your feelings, not the actions of anyone else.  

Stop your people pleaser ways Saturday 

  • People pleasing is not selfless.  It’s actually selfish.  Can you believe it?  It’s all about you and you controlling others.  Guess what?  I’m a huge people pleaser, or at least I have been a huge people pleaser for a long time, until the magic of coaching and I got called out.  It’s a pattern I learned from when I was growing up.  Maybe you too.  It was my role and I thought was a good way to show up.  
  • Try this non people pleasing belief upgrade: “The only person I have to please is myself!” 

Self-appreciation Sunday

  • What do you appreciate about yourself? 
    • Make a list of all of the things you appreciate about yourself.  Let’s try at least 10 different ways you appreciate yourself. Write it down and keep it available to you so you have evidence of your unconditional self-love and appreciation. 
  • Here’s your playlist for the week

You are 100% lovable, always and forever.

Self-love superpower,

Dr. Karla

Watch the Video Replay

Previous: Week 11 – Stress Less Sleep More

Setting Boundaries to Stop Weight Bullying

Stress Less Sleep More: IME Reverse Your Insulin Resistance Challenge Week 11

Here’s a common question I get a lot and I’ve asked myself too.

Where do I start when I want to make a change like losing weight, improving my metabolic health, or just plain feeling better?  

Have you heard Eat Less Move More? We all have.  Who can argue with this public health message?  I guess I can.  It’s a good message, just not that helpful.  It’s like, “Okay, um, sure. I’ll just Eat Less Move More and now I’m good to go!”

Why didn’t I think of that? (Sarcasm alert here)

I certainly know when I started my weight and life coaching journey, exacty four years ago (Woot! Woot!) I needed way more support than Eat Less Move More to make transformational health changes.  

I created IME Community to offer healthy weight coaching for teens with Dr. Karla and give all of the same level of support I had to create a healthy life!

Stress Less, Sleep More

I switched the messaging this week from Eat Less Move More to Stress Less Sleep More for Week 11 of the IME Reverse Your Insulin Resistance Challenge! 

Learning how to Stress Less Sleep More is a very important part of your overall health and health transformation and life goals. In fact, diet culture keeps us fixated on just one area and that’s focusing on the number of calories, but, what is really effective is focusing on all of our health, including Stress Less Sleep More.

Plus, stress and sleep go together, just like PB&J, so let’s get started with the week!

This week we are talking about stress reduction and sleep hygiene and why it’s so important and how to do it and what we’re going to gain from it. 

If you’re a parent of a teen, you may be thinking, “Sleep hygiene? I’m just trying to get my kid to wear deodorant on the daily!” (No personal experience infused here. JK) 

Remember, you are worthy of your healthy life! I’ve coached you on taking massive action and starting with one goal at a time. Starting with taking action on a goal to Stress Less Sleep More means you are taking massive action on your health goals!

You have the power to choose where to start.

Don’t get stressed as I’m teaching you about stress.  

Let’s take a breath in and then exhale.  

Now that you’re fully relaxed, let’s talk about stress!

Cortisol is our body’s stress hormone and the problem is our bodies are not meant to constantly be exposed to stress hormones, like in the case of chronic toxic stress that we will talk about on Thursday of the week as it relates to ACES or the Adverse Childhood Experiences Study. 

Cortisol raises insulin levels and we are now week 11 of the Reverse Your Insulin Resistance Challenge, so we know that constantly elevated levels of insulin usually translates to weight gain and poor health consequences.

There is a healthy amount of stress, but when we are continually exposed to cortisol, studies show that we become at risk to suffer from chronic diseases.

That’s enough talk of stress for the day.  

Remember, you are never stuck. I always believe in your unlimited potential to live your magical healthy life!

Make sure if you are a teen, 12 to 18, or parent of a teen, Join IME Community where you will find it easy and fun to start creating results right away and get me coaching you on zoom!

Reverse Your Insulin Resistance Challenge Week 11 Plan

Stress Less Sleep More Monday

  • Instead of Eat Less Move More (okay, um, sure), let’s try simple messages that are actually helpful. Stress Less Sleep More is a message we can all wrap our minds and bodies around just like a nice warm self-acceptance blanket that is always readily available to you.
  • Stress and sleep play an important role in our overall health, as much and maybe even more than eating and movement, but all we ever hear about from diet culture is to focus on restricting calories, which, for me, anyway creates more stress in my life. It’s unfun (a nufnu) and life is meant to be fun, so no thanks on what feels restrictive.  I’m excited to take a holistic approach to health with the challenge this week.  Our health includes a lot of measures including sleep and stress levels and is one of the reasons why weight and health are not exactly correlated and you should never judge someone’s health based on the external.  We literally know nothing about anyone else’s health! Heck, a lot of times we hardly know anything about our own health.
  • Where will you write our new and fun and actually helpful message so you remember this most important aspect of your health?
  • Here’s your easy action step for the day: Put Stress Less Sleep More on a post-it note!

“Wake me up before you go go!” Tuesday

  • Let’s talk the science of sleep! I’m going to speak with a really excited voice so you don’t fall asleep while talking about sleep. You’ve probably heard about sleep hygiene. No biggie if you haven’t.  Sleep hygiene means cleaning up your sleep routine.  This is the massive action goal I’m working on now, and, let me tell you, I have some work to do. Let’s do it together.
  • How much sleep do we need? Depends on your age, but teens need around 10 to 12 hours a night.
  • Screen time and sleep? Screen time recommendations are so limited for children and teens and if you are a doctor or a parent listening, let’s not ruin our credibility and tell, especially teens, that they should not be getting more than a couple of hours a day. That’s true, but it’s just we have seen an uptick in screen time with COVID and we are all feeling pretty overwhelmed. How can we help our teens create a balance?  What can you do instead of screen time before bed?  What are the steps you might take to do that?  Get specific.  What is your current thinking and feelings about staying off your phone a couple of hours before bed?  How can you decide ahead of time?  Parents obviously create the boundaries around screen time and can help our teens create a balance. I am in the middle of this with you. Smack dab dealing with this too for myself and with my teens who get their stuff done and see no problem.
  • My daughter, Audrey, did some research for IME Community around junk food marketing to teens on social media. The words I would use are tactical and subterranean.  The ads embed the cueing and stimuli of the urge/craving conditioned overdesire for processed carb filled foods in our brains.  So, you are being influenced and you don’t even know it. Just something to keep in mind.  Ha! You get my little pun there?
  • How is sleep deprivation related to weight gain and poor health? Our hunger hormone levels (ghrelin and leptin) may be off that tell us when we’re hungry or full. We have more time to eat when we’re not sleeping as much.  That one cracks me up. We spend the next day in energy seeking behaviors, like eating quick energy foods that don’t serve us and our goals, especially sugary foods.
  • Do you buffer with sleep? How do you know? If you are buffering with sleep, that probably means you spend a lot of time in bed, but still feel tired and are not getting done what you want and need to do.
  • How much sleep do you usually get?
  • What’s your sleep routine?
  • Ask yourself, how can I improve my sleep hygiene? In other words, declutter up that sleep routine!
  • Quiet or noise machine, limit screens a couple of hours before bed, Limit caffeine intake, keep the room cool and dark, shower before bed, wear loose pj’s, sleep meditation, see the light in the morning to help wake up?

“Under Pressure” Wednesday

  • One time when ipods were as fancy of technology as there was out there, my family and I were on a plane and my husband looked at my ipod and said, “My God, Karla, you’ve listened to “Under Pressure” over and over.” I love the song, but it was actually healing to me because I was really feeling, at the point in my life that the weight of the world was on my shoulders.  That was just a thought, but I didn’t know that at the time because I hadn’t learned anything about the transformational power of life coaching. Really, I do love “Under Pressure” by Queen and David Bowie.
  • So, I mentioned before that cortisol is our stress hormone and it serves a function to keep us safe. Cortisol increases insulin which causes us to gain weight.  That’s not usually a problem, unless we have chronically elevated cortisol.  So, reducing stress is important.  A healthy dose of stress is okay and we can’t get away from or control all of the stress in our lives, but we can take action to reduce stress.
  • Stress relief is an action. It’s not sitting in front of a screen.  Whether it’s moving your body, getting outside and connecting with nature, your friends or family, practicing deep breaths, meditation, drawing, writing, music, journaling and doing thought downloads, it’s all a part of active stress reduction.

What’s your ACES score? Thursday

  • Today’s message comes with a trauma warning. Have you heard of the ACES study?  ACES stands for Adverse Childhood Experiences Study and was a study done by Kaiser measuring 17,000 patients ACES scores and then determining the score with health outcomes in adulthood.  ACES measures 10 different areas of trauma in childhood in the areas of abuse, neglect, exposure to domestic violence, substance abuse, mental illness, and whether a parent was incarcerated.  The study showed that if you have a score of 2 or more, you are at risk for adverse physical and mental outcomes as an adult, and this includes chronic diseases such as obesity.  Nadine Burke Harris, a pediatrician and current surgeon general of California took the ACES study to children and showed the adverse effects of chronic toxic stress.
  • My ACES score is 7 out of 10. That does make me sad when I see that score.  I know that becoming obese was tied to the trauma and chronic toxic stress I experienced growing up.  What you want to do is find a trauma-informed therapist to work with to set yourself on a path to intentionally heal. It is possible and you are not stuck.
  • Check out my IME Community YouTube interview with Brandon McDermott, author of “Abandon Brandon”, TikTok, IG and Radio Star to learn about his story and how he is intentionally healing. It’s so powerful!

Changing your brain Friday

  • Have you heard the term neuroplasticity? It’s a cool word.  Our brains are changing and malleable and adaptable, but we have to challenge our brains to try new things and think in different ways to create new pathways and connections.  I love the book, “Livewired” by Dr. David Eagleman, a neuroscientist, researcher and writer.  Check it out if you get the chance.
  • We spend a lot of time managing the world in our brains, sometimes arguing with reality. Our brains offer up tens of thousands of thoughts per day which create the response in our body which is our feelings.  We are not our thoughts and don’t have to stay attached to thoughts that don’t serve us.
  • Start rewiring your brain by creating awareness of what’s going on in there with daily thought downloads or brain dumps for 1, 3, or 5 minutes. I challenge you to do daily thought dumps for a week and then go back and see what are actual facts that can be proven and what is the story your brain is telling you.  This is powerful work and the first step in creating thought awareness and the results you want!

“Let it go!” Perfectionism, that is, Saturday

  • You know you’re a perfectionist if……..
  • Do you have some patterns that are keeping you stuck? I’m talking patterns like perfectionism? Have you labeled yourself as a procrastinator? If you hesitate to get going and have a lot of fear of criticism and failure and feel like you have to get an A+ on the first draft and you should know everything before you even started to learn it, then you may be a perfectionist.
  • Here’s the good news. You are not stuck.  Once you recognize how perfectionism comes up in you and when you have your own back and move forward with self-love superpower, then you become less afraid of the criticism of others.  When failure is only learning and you are always curious and kind to yourself, then you will keep taking action.  There is no perfect.  Perfect doesn’t exist.  Try B- work on that first draft.
  • “I don’t have to be perfect, I just have to be perfectly kind to myself.”

Healing on purpose playlist Sunday

  • Ah, we made it. Let’s exhale.  This has been a really tough week talking about sleep and stress and all of the things.  Have you heard the term, time heals all wounds? I think it definitely helps there’s no doubt, but what also helps is healing with intention or healing on purpose.  Don’t be hard on yourself or listen to that negative self-talk brain if you’ve had a tough time.
  • Welcome your human emotions and allow them. You are entitled to your human journey.  It’s time for self-love superpower. Other things to consider are sound therapy, EFT (emotional freedom tapping), yoga, meditation, gratitude journaling as a means to cultivating joy.
  • Here’s a relaxing playlist of a few anxiety busting songs for your listening and relaxing pleasure. Strawberry Swing by Coldplay; Someone like you by Adele; Weightless by Marconi Union.  Try creating a playlist of songs you love that chill you out.

Get ready for the week! I would love to coach you to create any result you want!

Self-love superpower,
Dr. Karla, ActivistMD

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Up Next: Week 12 – You Are 100% Lovable Now and Forever
Previous: Week 10 – Self Love Superpower

Top 10 Self Care Tips for Teens

Self Love Superpower: IME Reverse Your Insulin Resistance Challenge Week 10

Hi and welcome to the most powerful week of the Reverse Your Insulin Resistance Challenge! I know I say that every week and I can’t believe we’re at week 10 already! Welcome to self-love superpower! I promise you that this week is the most powerful and important.  Once you learn self-love superpower and that you can hop into the phone booth like Clark Kent and become Superman whenever your world needs saving, it’s so powerful.  Self-love superpower is always available to you.  

What Is Self-Love Superpower?

Self-love superpower is a daily intentional habit practice.  There’s no arrival point.  It’s a skill and we are often taught the opposite in our society.  We’re taught that listening to the negative self-talk inner critic is what motivates us to take action.  Research (yes, amazing coaching research) shows that coaching with compassion creates positive emotion activation, which is what it takes to take action on a goal.  In other words, when the going gets tough, you don’t need to be whipped into shape by Judge Judy in your brain.  You need a nurturing hug and self-compassion to create any result you want.  

Self-love superpower is not like a switch where you just automatically start loving yourself, especially if you’ve been believing the Judge Judy negative self-talk critic in your brain who starts blabbing on whenever you want to make a change.  Remember, thoughts are optional and you are not your thoughts.  Beliefs are powerful thoughts on a loop in our brain and if you keep believing beliefs (fun play on words here) that don’t serve you, you will keep creating current results you don’t want.  

Week 10 of the IME Reverse Your Insulin Resistance Challenge: Self-Love Superpower

5 steps to say I am Me Monday

Do you fully love and accept yourself no matter what? 

Here’s the exciting news.  You can fully love and accept yourself starting right now.  All you have to do is follow the IME Community five easy steps to full self-acceptance.

What does self-acceptance mean to you?

Did you know that self-acceptance has absolutely nothing to do with your weight?

So, let’s get started with the IME 5 steps to say I aM mE

  1. Understand that self-acceptance is always available to you
  2. Choose to believe you don’t have to wait until you hav reached a goal to fully accept yourself.
  3. Stop staying stuck believing something that isn’t serving you.
  4. Start creating and accepting beliefs that serve you and your dreams.
  5. Create a daily self-acceptance habit.

Try these IME Community self-acceptance mantras:

  • I fully love and accept myself.
  • I love and accept myself.
  • I am learning to fully love and accept myself.

Make up your own self-acceptance mantra that feels believable to you! 

Now, you’re ready to go out into the world and remember that your warm self-acceptance blanket is always there for you! 

What is self-compassion Tuesday

  • My all-time favorite self-compassion guru and researcher is Dr. Kristin Neff.  Along with incredible coaching from my life and well-being coach (Kristin Webster, MA, CLC), Dr. Neff’s work has transformed my life.  You may want to check out her most recent book, “Fierce Self-Compassion”.  She describes self-compassion in three areas: self-kindness, mindfulness and common humanity.  I recommend checking out her website self-compassion.org and testing your level of self-compassion.  I did and found out I was low on self-kindness.
  • One thing that has been very helpful when learning to practice self-compassion is when a situation feels hard, talk to yourself like you would a friend who is going through the same situation.  We would never talk to a friend who is having a hard time the same way we talk to ourselves.  They probably wouldn’t be a friend for much longer. Am I right?
  • What are the times you have helped a friend with compassion?
  • Start talking with compassion to yourself in the same way you talked to your friend who was having a tough time.

Building Self-trust Wednesday

  • What would it be like to create evidence that you can trust yourself to show up for you and your goal?  Yesterday, I coached you on self-compassion, which is a daily intentional habit practice.  You build self-trust when you practice self-compassion.  Maybe you call it self-kindness or full self-acceptance.  It doesn’t matter. What it means is that instead of attaching to negative self-talk thoughts that come up when things are not going your way, you recognize you’re being hard on yourself, and then mobilize your self-love superpower thoughts.  
  • Instead of, “You’ll never get this in on time because you’re so lazy,” try, “I have my back and won’t be hard on myself no matter when I turn it in.”

What’s your self-love mantra Thursday

  • Self-love superpower is a daily intentional habit practice.  There’s no arrival point.  It’s a skill and we are often taught the opposite in our society.  We’re taught that listening to the negative self-talk inner critic is what motivates us to take action.  Research (yes, amazing coaching research) shows that coaching with compassion creates positive emotion activation, which is what it takes to take action on a goal.  In other words, when the going gets tough, you don’t need to be whipped into shape by Judge Judy in your brain.  You need a nurturing hug and self-compassion to create any result you want.
  • Self-love superpower is not like a switch where you just automatically start loving yourself, especially if you’ve been believing the Judge Judy negative self-talk critic in your brain who starts blabbing on whenever you want to make a change.  Remember, thoughts are optional and you are not your thoughts.  Beliefs are powerful thoughts on a loop in our brain and if you keep believing beliefs (fun play on words here) that don’t serve you, you will keep creating current results you don’t want.
  • This practice takes the power away from the negative and allows you to create a new more positive focus.  When I am being hard on myself, I feel it physically in my body.  I feel very tired right away, my jaw clenches and tightens up and it feels like I am pushing my way through even the most minimal tasks that shouldn’t take that much energy.  What’s happening is I’m resisting my emotions, which is like holding a beach ball under water.  It’s a major energy zapper.
  • It was Carl Jung who said, what you focus on, we create more of.  You can create a self-love superpower pathway in your brain.
  • What are your self-compassion mantras (powerful affirmations) that you can say to yourself to disrupt the power of the negative self-talk?  
    • “This is really hard right now. “
    • “I don’t cause and I don’t control all of the things in life.”
    • “It’s okay.”
    • “I don’t need to fix anything.” 
    • “I am enough.” 
    • “May I be kind to myself as I’m working through this.”
  • Here’s the self-love superpower steps:  
    • Acknowledge
    • Pause
    • Shift
    • Create
    • Rewire

Be Kind to Yourself First Friday

  • Self-kindness isn’t cheesy or syrupy.  It’s not staring at yourself in the mirror and chanting self-kindness affirmations.  Feel free to do that if it is helpful.  You look marvelous, by the way!
  • Self-love starts with loving yourself unconditionally.  In our society and many of our families, we believe that self-love is selfish.  It’s not at all.  It’s the opposite.  Self-love is the most loving practice you can be to others.  This is so important.  It’s like putting on your oxygen mask first so you can help others with theirs.  If you don’t have oxygen, you won’t be any help to anyone.  Self-love is fuel for our meaningful and purposeful lives and self-kindness is one of the most important steps in moving towards self-love superpower.  Self-kindness is learned and is to be practiced.  It’s always available to you.

What are the ways you practice self-kindness every day?  Hint: self-kindness is not self-care.

Stop self-judging Saturday

  • I love coaching teens because teens soak up the life coaching skills like a sponge. It’s so fun! I was recently coaching a member of IME Community and she wanted some coaching on time management.  She always gets her homework done, but was stuck in a pattern of judging herself as a procrastinator and was really listening to her Judge Judy inner critic.  She was really believing that inner critic negative self-talk.  I asked her powerful coaching questions, “What are you making it mean?” There was a lot of self-judging and labeling herself as a procrastinator.  I told her, “Can you think about it in a different way that serves you?” “Can you see how your attachment to the belief keeps creating the result you don’t want?” “What would it be like to create a belief that serves you and your goals?” She decided to do a belief upgrade and recognize when Judge Judy thoughts are coming up, write them down, and the create a self-love superpower belief upgrade instead.  Once you have awareness, then you have the choice to let fixed and limited beliefs go and create beliefs that create the results you want.  It’s so powerful!
  • Now, list five beliefs about you and your goals and try a self-love superpower belief upgrade:

Have your own back no matter what Sunday

  • “Don’t stop believing” unless it’s a belief that doesn’t serve you and “Hold onto that feeling” if you want to.  I love Steve Perry’s voice and everyone knows this song about a small town girl  living in a lonely world who took the midnight train going anywhere and that city boy born and raised in south Detroit.
  • We’ve been talking a lot in the coaching calls about rejecting diet thinking and culture.  That’s an important first step along with learning self-love superpower instead of listening to that negative self-talk, inner critic that seems to always come up when we take action on our goals.
  • When we’re being hard on ourselves, we can recognize or acknowledge when that negative voice comes up, create a pause and practice our self-compassion or self-love mantras.  This is a skill that allows us to build self-trust and know we will have our own back as we move along toward our goals.  So powerful!

Watch the Video Replay

Up Next: Week 11 – Stress Less Sleep More

Previous: Week 9 – Diffusing Low Carb Confusion

Setting Boundaries to Stop Weight Bullying

Diffusing Low Carb Confusion: IME Reverse Your Insulin Resistance Challenge Week 9

LowCarb is not zero carbs! Carbs are not bad. Eating LowCarb is not restriction. You don’t have to count carbs to eat low-carb. The low-calorie and low-fat diet craze that we’ve been attached to for decades has been an epic failure and has driven the epidemic of obesity, insulin resistance, metabolic syndrome, and all of the other psychosocial and economic costs that have come along with this epidemic.  Let’s drop it and our diet culture and thinking like a book.  

We get to move forward with curiosity and the power of choosing for ourselves.  When I started my weight loss, health transformation and life coaching journey in September, 2017, I had no clue that it was going to include a LowCarb lifestyle.  I was literally “Clueless”, which is a great movie if you haven’t seen it.  By the way, Paul Rudd was at KU when I was there and Alicia Silverstone is on TikTok a lot these days.  Paul Rudd going to KU at the same time as me and that one time I saw Jack Black in the Orlando Airport Hotel at the elevator at 1am are my only claims to fame.  

Cutting Carbs Is Not One Size Fits All

Cutting your processed carbs is not a cure all.  It’s not one size fits all.  You get to take an individualized approach.  If you are taking medications, you will want to consult with your physician.  Remember, I am not giving medical advice and I am not your doctor.  

Monday Macros: What is Essential nutrition?  In other words what macros do our bodies need to function? 

Essential Macronutrients:

Our bodies require us to consume protein and fat to function.  Protein and fat are essential nutrition for us to live.  Essential nutrition means that our bodies can’t make them on their own.  Studies have shown our bodies can produce glucose (energy source from carbohyrdrates) for energy even when we are not consuming carbohydrates. 

A well-formulated carbohydrate-restricted diet includes adequate energy, protein, fat, vitamins, and minerals. With adequate protein and fat, the dietary requirement for carbohydrate is zero (Institute of Medicine [U.S.], 2005; Westman, 2002). 

Even when no dietary carbohydrate is consumed, glucose-dependent tissues are able to utilize glucose produced through gluconeogenesis and glycogenolysis (Westman et al., 2007). Because dietary carbohydrate is not essential, it need not be a primary focus for certain therapeutic nutritional interventions. 

Tuesday LowCarb LevelUp: Different levels of carbohydrate reduction Dietary carbohydrate restriction can take many forms. The term “low-carbohydrate diet” lacks specificity and has been used to refer to carbohydrate intake levels that are low only in relation to population averages and/or measured as a percentage of kcals, but do not reach the therapeutic levels of restriction referred to here. 

Therapeutic carbohydrate reduction refers to dietary interventions measured in absolute amounts (grams/day) that fall below 130g of dietary carbohydrate per day, which is the U.S. Dietary Reference Intake (DRI) for carbohydrate (see Institute of Medicine [U.S.], 2005). The following definitions for levels of carbohydrate restriction are based on protocols currently in use or on definitions found in the literature: 

  • VLCK (very low-carbohydrate ketogenic) diets recommend 30g or less of dietary carbohydrate per day (Hallberg et al., 2018). 
  • LCK (low-carbohydrate ketogenic) diets recommend 30-50g of dietary carbohydrate per day (Saslow et al., 2017). 
  • RC (reduced-carbohydrate) diets recommend 50-130g of dietary carbohydrate per day, a level that is higher than levels listed above and lower than the U.S. DRI for carbohydrate. 
  • MC-CR (moderate-carbohydrate, calorie-restricted) diets recommend more than 130g of dietary carbohydrate per day with a range of 45-65% of daily kcals coming from carbohydrate (“Carbohydrate Counting & Diabetes | NIDDK,” n.d.). In most cases, kcals are also restricted to maintain energy balance or to achieve a deficit for weight loss. This dietary intervention reflects the amount of dietary carbohydrate typically found in “carbohydrate counting” interventions given to many people with type 2 diabetes. 

What are Net carbs Wednesday: Definitions of carbohydrate intake levels may refer to either total carbohydrate content or to non-fiber grams of carbohydrate, as fiber is not typically metabolized to glucose. Using food labels or nutrition data, the calculation of total carbohydrate minus fiber is referred to as “net carbohydrate.” As no comparative studies of “total” vs. “net” carbohydrate have been done, clinical experience may inform which approach is best for patients.

Protein Power Thursday: In contrast to carbohydrate, protein is an essential macronutrient because essential amino acids are unable to be made by the body and need to be provided by ingested protein. Patients may choose an omnivorous or plant-based approach in order to acquire adequate protein intake. 

The Recommended Dietary Allowance (RDA) intake for adults is 0.8g protein per kilogram of ideal body weight per day; however, this may be an underestimate of actual protein needs for many individuals (Layman et al., 2015; Phillips, Chevalier, & Leidy, 2016). When carbohydrate is restricted, dietary sources of protein and fat provide kcal in addition to providing the structural components of cells and tissue, therefore additional protein intake may be necessary, up to 2.0g protein per kilogram of ideal body weight. Even at levels above the RDA, protein intake on a low-carbohydrate diets typically remains within the acceptable macronutrient distribution range (AMDR) of 10-35% of kcals.

Yummy Healthy Fats Friday: Therapeutic carbohydrate restriction creates a metabolic milieu in which the body can use fat as a primary source of energy (see also 3.1). Dietary fat provides essential fatty acids and is needed for the absorption of certain micronutrients (fat-soluble vitamins A,D, E and K). Foods that contain a combination of fatty acids—including monounsaturated, polyunsaturated and saturated fats—are recommended. As it has not been clearly determined that saturated fats in foods contribute to adverse health outcomes (Forouhi, Krauss, Taubes, & Willett, 2018), foods considered to be significant sources of dietary saturated fat are not usually restricted for this intervention. However, trans fats should be avoided. Trans fats are thought to contribute to disease through a number of potential mechanisms (Remig et al., 2010)

Saturday LowCarb take-out guide: The cool thing about eating lowcarb or trending lowcarb or whatever you decide to do is that you are adding in more protein and fat and will then feel more full.  Your blood sugars are stabile when eating lowcarb and you don’t feel deprived. 
So, don’t worry if you are going out to eat.  Many restaurants have lots of options that are actually LowCarb.  Check out the menu ahead of time and remember ABC Awareness Before Choice.  You’re going out for the experience and you can be assured you will eat well and feel satiated or satisfied.  

Sunday keep it super simple LowCarb planning – do you want to meal prep, plan one day ahead of time? No problem. You get to choose.  What works best for you and your life?  Just create some constraints around the planning and don’t overconsume recipes and get overwhelmed.  You don’t want to change everything up.  That’s not necessary.  Can you take the processed carbs and sugar out of what you usually eat for family meals and snacks?  Try a LowCarb Swap like a lettuce wrap or cheese wrap and make sure you are planning for protein, fat every time you eat. 

A few other talking points related to LowCarb:

Are there good and bad carbs? No, just food that serves you and food that doesn’t.  

Back to LowCarb. It’s a lifestyle, not a diet.  It’s simply eating quality food that serves our body.  Our bodies were not made to be exposed to all of the processed carbs added to our foods. 

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Up Next: Week 10 – Self Love Superpower

Previous: Week 8 – Positive Body Image

Top 10 Self Care Tips for Teens

Positive Body Image – Reverse Your Insulin Resistance Challenge Week 8

Welcome to what I believe is the most important and foundational principle you will learn when it comes to life coaching, reaching goals, and chasing your dreams.  

CoachU Monday

First, what I’m going to teach you isn’t anything new. Psychologists, philosophers, scientists, religious leaders, have known and taught this through the ages and that is, drumroll please, your thoughts create your feelings and your feelings create your actions or behaviors.  There you go!  We’re done.  No. It’s not as simple as just knowing that your thoughts create your reality or that your thoughts create your feelings and your feelings or emotions are what move you to action or inaction to either make yourself feel or not feel a certain way.

Thoughts Anyone Tuesday

So, what are thoughts?  

A Rainbow that comes and goes, a sentence in your mind, a cloud going by. They’re really like vapor.  Our brains offer up thousands and thousands of thoughts a day.  Some thoughts are interesting.  Some thoughts are wacky.  Some are sad. Some are neutral.  We are not our thoughts.  I think that’s a huge relief because sometimes I’m like, that’s just nonsense.  Good thing I know I’m not my thoughts.  

Thoughts create your feelings. Thoughts can be triggered by circumstances.  

Your current thinking creates your current results.  Your current thoughts create your current reality!

Beliefs are powerful thoughts Wednesday

So, where do we start?  First, let’s start with a problem.  Maybe you have a problem with a relationship in your life, or something going on at school, or your weight isn’t where you want it to be, or you’re stuck in procrastination or get overwhelmed with self-doubt and perfectionism.  Maybe, you just want to start feeling better?  Maybe you have a seemingly impossible goal you really want to achieve that feels like a mountain and you don’t think you have the equipment or what it takes to get you to the top.  What I’m going to teach you is that the only thing in your way is your thoughts.  And, it’s not really your thoughts as much as it is lack of awareness of the thoughts that create whatever feeling you are having or the problem is you are so attached to the thought that it’s almost like a belief coming up for you.

All together now Thursday

Let’s talk about circumstances, thoughts and feelings.  It’s a helpful way to organize our mind and to create self-awareness so that you can see how It’s so cool to become a powerful observer of your mind.  Just be curious.  Don’t worry if this sounds like we’re thinking about thinking.  That is pretty much what we’re doing.  Just having awareness of thoughts and not judging them, but being a curious observer of your amazing mind is so powerful.  

How do you want to feel Friday

So, what about feelings?  This is so important!  Feelings and emotions are everything.  It’s our human experience.  

Thoughts create our feelings, which are just a vibration in our body.  

You can decide how you want to feel and then choose a thought on purpose that creates that feeling! How cool is that? 

Believing on purpose Saturday

We are not our thoughts. Like I said, most of our thoughts are just programmed or unconscious. You can also create deliberate thoughts, that are choices.  It’s not like a quick switch.  We have to program that thought in our brain and into our life with repetition. You are creating a new neural pathway.  It’s called mental rehearsal, practicing believing a new thought on purpose. 

What’s a belief?  It’s a powerful thought, that is on a loop that we choose to be true.  Maybe, your beliefs serve you and you are going to hold onto them.  

Put it on the Result line Sunday

Notice what you’re thinking. We don’t have awareness of our thoughts usually.  We are attached to the thoughts, and not questioning them. We don’t realize that we are not our thoughts.  Again, thoughts are a rainbow that come and go. We are not our thoughts.  Thoughts are optional.  

You can’t just start a new thought, but having awareness of the thoughts or thought that is coming up creating your feeling, actions, and your results, helps you to start shifting to on purpose creating thoughts that create the result you want.  Learning to be aware and then let go takes practice and starts with just recognizing, then pausing, allowing any feelings or emotions that are coming up for you.  

Notice how that thinking creates your feelings, actions, and results.

Once you truly understand that it’s your thinking causing all the rest, decide to change.

Decide what you want your new result to be.

What will you need to do, feel, and think to create the result?

Try this on as a new thought to create your new results:  I create a positive body image with my thoughts. A positive body image is always available to me.  

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Up Next: Week 9 – Diffusing Low Carb Confusion
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Final Challenge – You Are Lovable Always: IME Reverse Your Insulin Resistance Challenge Week 12

Your Metabolic Health: IME Reverse Your Insulin Resistance Challenge Week 7

I’m going to give you a warning. This is all super helpful information.  It’s a powerful article.  I’m going to be disrupting the status quo that clearly hasn’t worked and also I will be coaching you to create a different way forward.  Are you ready?  It’s data and information.  I am not your doctor, so always make sure you are seeking the advice of your medical doctor.  

What Is Obesity (Nufnu)?

Obesity (nufnu) is a multi-factorial disease medical, endocrine, environment, genetic/epigenetic, immune, and neurobehavioral components. 

Obesity (Nufnu) related disease risks may vary depending on your metabolic health.  

How Nufnu Relates to Metabolic Syndrome and IR

Metabolic consequences of nufnu include the components of metabolic syndrome plus the inflammatory and thrombotic states.  There’s more inflammation and increased risk for thrombosis (blood clotting).

Type 2 diabetes is closely associated with nufnu and begins with insulin resistance that starts 10 to 15 years before diagnosis.  This is why I’m so ready to reverse IR in teens.  Just because your HgbA1c and fasting blood sugar is normal, doesn’t mean that you don’t have IR or aren’t at risk for type 2 diabetes.  Again, lots of information. 

Focus on Metabolic Health, Not Weight

This is your opportunity to start to focus on your metabolic health and not stay fixated on weight.  If you focus on improving your metabolic health, and I’m going to teach you how to do that, your body will reach a natural weight set point.  

So, let’s take a big breath in through our noses and out again and activate our parasympathetic calming nervous system.  Relax. You are worthy of your healthy life. 

Again, I’m talking about metabolic health this week in the RYIR challenge.  What is metabolic health?  Where do I go for more information?  Check out “The Obesity Code” by Dr. Jason Fung and also go to the Society of Metabolic Health Practitioners or smhp.org.  I’m a founding member.  

First, there’s not a real consensus with these definitions and criteria.  I really think this is a helpful and productive way to think about health and how to reverse insulin resistance and its metabolic health effects.  It’s a way to think about it that actually calls out the problem and offers a true solution.  

MUO and MHO and MUL are definitions used to describe Metabolically Unhealthy nufnu and Metabolically Healthy nufnu and Metabolically Unhealthy Lean.  We have to stop thinking that weight equals health or that it’s all cause and effect.  Our bodies and brains are complex systems.  

Your metabolic health is important.  Many of you are tired and bored with focusing on a number on the scale, and don’t have any problems and at the same time your health is important to you. This is where our society gets really messed up and confused.  

I am helping you create a metabolic health approach and that may fit more into your Future Self vision and feel more empowering and also help get you out of fixed, limited, unfun, restrictive diet thinking.  

What is metabolic health? Metabolic health is defined as having ideal levels of blood sugar, triglycerides, HDL or “good” cholesterol, blood pressure, and waist circumference.  These relate to your risk for heart disease, diabetes, and stroke.  

That brings me to metabolic syndrome.  Have you heard of metabolic syndrome?  You may have heard of metabolic syndrome.  I have taken care of many teens who have metabolic syndrome.  

Playlist break: “Born to Run” by the Boss

Playlist break: “C’mon N’ Ride It” by Quad City DJ’s

Be Informed and Make Your Own Healthy Decisions

If you get your information from Google and you follow the guidelines for Prevention, it’s really just the bullet point status quo recommendations.  Let’s take a more fun and interesting and effective approach to improving your metabolic health.  We all need more than bullet point recommendations, especially the recommendations that keep saying the same stuff over and over that hasn’t worked.  

Playlist break: “Speed of Sound” by Coldplay

There is power in knowledge. Get internal and make your own autonomous decisions.  Since I coach teens and I’m a Mom to three young people and I’m also someone who hates when someone tells me what to do, I can tell you there is so much power in getting internal and making your own choices. Many of us adults are like this. I think we all are. 

The Week 7 Reverse Your Insulin Resistance Challenge

Monday Mythbusters:  Calories are not the key to improving your metabolic health. It’s not that simple. Unfortunately, even though we can look around and see that simple calories in calories out thinking, just Eat Less Move More thinking, remains the standard of care in medicine.  It often doesn’t work.  It keeps us stuck in diet culture.  That’s been beat in our heads for ages — to look at the back of a box and the nutritional information, the fat, the sodium, etc.. We are used to eating our food like this, in processed fashion where its value is determined by calories. Another false notion beat into our heads is that we need to count calories and burn as much as we eat through exercise to be a healthy weight.

Here’s the good news: simply eating less does not make you lose weight. “The low-fat, low-calorie diet has already been proven to fail,” said Dr. Jason Fung in his book The Obesity Code. You don’t have to eat less fat or calories to lose weight, but you do need to look at the quality and composition of your food and one way to improve the quality of your food is to cut down on processed carbs.

Let’s Learn more about Insulin Resistance Tuesday: Our bodies are so incredible and interesting.  Don’t fight with your body.  Our bodies are built to conserve energy.  Our bodies were not meant to be exposed to the added sugars in our food system.  Our brains are conditioned to crave sugar because of the added sugars in processed foods.  Obesity is hormonal and not simply caloric. When we eat carbohydrates or sugars, insulin is released to bring the glucose into the cells. Insulin binds to a receptor, like a lock and key, and then glucose can be transported into the cells. Nutrients like carbohydrates raise insulin the most, whereas fats release the least amount of insulin. Every time you eat or snack, you are raising your insulin levels. Excess sugar is stored as fat. Your body can become resistant to insulin. Insulin is linked to other diseases and comorbidities. For example, if your body builds resistance to insulin, you may become diabetic.

What is metabolic syndrome Wednesday? Metabolic syndrome is a constellation of findings and includes high blood pressure, high blood sugar or glucose, increased body fat around the waist, and abnormal cholesterol levels (HDL and Triglycerides) and is linked to increased risk for type 2 diabetes and heart disease.  About 1/3 of U.S. adults have metabolic syndrome.  Metabolic Syndrome is related to Insulin Resistance.  I’ve taken care of many teens with metabolic syndrome.  

Playlist break: “We are the champions” by Queen 

The risk factors for metabolic syndrome are: age, ethnicity, obesity, family history of diabetes, and if you’ve ever had nonalcoholic fatty liver disease, polycystic ovary syndrome or sleep apnea.  

If you have one risk factor, you should be assessed for the others. 

Gathering your metabolic health data Thursday:  What’s your risk for metabolic syndrome?  Metabolic syndrome is a complex condition.  These are important measures to assess your metabolic health. There are four main components of metabolic syndrome and four measurements: Blood Pressure, Waist Circumference, Blood glucose (sugar), and Fasting lipid panel (cholesterol)

Playlist break: “Rock the Casbah” by The Clash

How to think differently Friday?  You can always improve your metabolic health.  First, you have to reject diet culture and get out of restriction, on again and off again thinking.  You can’t look for answers outside of yourself.  So, this amazing information helps you get unstuck. Also, know your risks.  You are gathering data and getting information.  How important is this?  What’s my level of confidence?  What’s my readiness for change?  Remember, small consistent changes are what you need.  If you are a teen or parent of a teen, you’ll want to Join the IME member Community.  I’ll coach you to create the results YOU want and I will meet you where you are and always have your back along the way.  Also, remember, I never coach on anything I haven’t already gone through.  

Playlist break: “Cars” by Gary Numan

Small changes create big metabolic health rewards Saturday? What you decide on is what works.  It’s that simple.  But, small changes are very important and over time can create long-lasting improvements in your metabolic health. 

How consistent should I be Sunday? Remember when we talked about slaying your goals in week 6? If not, you may want to go back and review.  To take massive action doesn’t mean you are changing everything up all at once.  To transform or improve your metabolic health, what you need to be intentional about is showing up every day for yourself, create self-trust by keeping promises you make to yourself, having your back by being kind to yourself, and doing the thought work when you’re stuck. 

Final playlist break: “Party in the U.S.A.” by Miley Cyrus

Get ready for week 8 where I’m going to coach you to coach yourself! Now, this is the most powerful work!

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Previous: Week 6 – Get to Your Natural Weight Set Point

Setting Boundaries to Stop Weight Bullying

Get to Your Natural Weight Set Point: IME Reverse Your Insulin Resistance Challenge Week 6

I can’t believe we are almost half-way through the amazingness of the 12 week Reverse Your Insulin Resistance Challenge! I’m having a lot of fun showing up on YouTube, IME Community podcast and every day on TikTok doing videos and coaching on TikTok Live.  

If you have been participating, let me know how it’s going.  You can email me at drkarlaactivistmd@imecommunity.com.  

Are you a teen or parent of a teen who wants to LevelUp and Join IME member Community to have access to my coaching on zoom?  

By the way, I’m thinking about all of you as you are headed back to school.  This morning was my son’s first day of High School and also his 15th birthday.  He’s so hilarious.  I have three very funny kids.  It’s weird to call them kids since they are 20, 17 and 15.  I hope your school year gets off to a great start.  I’m sending lots of positive vibes out into the world to you.  

Also, I’m thinking about everyone and COVID as we are in another very serious wave of the pandemic.  Health systems are completely stressed, ICU’s are full across the country, and it’s very serious.  I want to encourage you to get the vaccine if you are able to. My thoughts and prayers are with everyone. This is so very tough. 

Last week was Week 5, “I Gotta Feeling” where I taught you to give yourself permission to feel your emotions instead of buffering with food.  What an important skill.  I love “More than a feeling” by Boston.  Each week builds on the next, but you can start this week and get going on slaying your goals and learning the truth about your body’s natural weight set point.  

Drown Out Diet Culture – You Are Not Stuck!

I wasn’t planning on addressing this, but there’s so much confusion, especially on TikTok, where creators are saying you are stuck at your current weight.  Nope. Nope. Nope.  Now, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with staying at your current weight.  Let’s drown out our society’s ridiculous noise that perpetuates diet culture and isn’t healthy mentally or physically for any of us.  So, if you don’t want to make changes.  No problem.  You get to decide.  If you do want to create a healthier life, you can start wherever you want.  Fueling our bodies with healthful balanced  food that serves us is possible and there’s some great data about that. 

I recently saw an article in the NYT about a recent study out that looked at metabolism and is disrupting what we thought about metabolism as we age.  So cool!  There are four stages of metabolism in our lifetimes.  This study is definitely disrupting the status quo thinking about metabolism. 

Physicians Breaking the Mold to Help You Find Your Natural Weight Set Point

There’s only a handful of us doctors across the country and actually, globally, who are disrupting what doesn’t work.  We don’t take sponsorships or ad money.  There’s some amazing data.  There’s so much frickin’ confusion out there, it makes me want to pull my hair out.  Listen to experts, especially those of us physicians who are willing to speak out, say where healthcare has gone wrong, and are helping as many as people as possible to create a healthier path.  What’s also powerful, is that there are some of us physicians who have also gone through our own weight loss journey.  The importance is the focus on metabolic health and reversing insulin resistance.  You can check out the Society of Metabolic Health Practitioners website at smhp.org.  I’m a founding member and proud of it. 

Our bodies are status quo homeostasis machines.  Our bodies adapt to what we are fed.  Sure, it’s more complex than that.  Making the change to cut back on processed carbs and then being consistent over time is going to show some major improvements in your metabolic health and help you to reverse insulin resistance. Let’s get to goal slaying. 

The Secret to Slaying Your Healthy Weight Goals

So, I’m a major goal slayer.  My top strength is Activator and I can grind out a goal with diligence and persistence like nobody’s business.  I can also make it pretty grueling on myself.  I’ve learned the tools of self compassion and I created Make it fun to get it done and learned that goal slaying can be fun and also it’s not being hard on ourselves that works.  It’s self-love superpower. When you learn to be kind to yourself no matter what and have your own back, it’s so powerful.  You can do anything.  All of this is practice. 

I’ll tell you the secret to any goal I’ve slayed. The key to any goal slaying is staying with your vision.  It’s an elevated approach.  It’s not about the how.  It’s like looking up and taking a 40,000 foot view.  You are the butterfly and not the caterpillar.  

Expect to feel self-doubt, confusion and overwhelm, fear of failure, victim and lots of discomfort along the way.  There’s nothing going wrong.  Discomfort is the currency of our dreams. 

Let’s get going with the week!

Monday Goal Slaying Motivation:  Choose the goal that commands your attention! What’s your biggest pain point? What’s the biggest obstacle in your way?  What’s the trade off?  Experience temporary discomfort now while achieving your goals and dreams or the long-term discomfort of not achieving your dream?   

Choose Your Goal Tuesday :  Pick a 30-day goal.  Choose one goal at a time.  I’m sure you’re really excited, but choosing one goal at a time is very important.  Otherwise, you will most likely indulge in overwhelm and that will keep you from taking action on any of your goals.   Choose a goal that motivates you, so how important is achieving this goal and is there value in achieving this goal?  How does this goal fit into the bigger picture of my life?  Am I interested in the outcome?  Drink more water? Cut back on processed carbs?  Crush your sugar cravings?  Work on self-trust eating?  Get more organized?  Increase your fitness?  Get better sleep?  What’s your goal and why do you want to achieve it?  Why will I do it no matter what and who has your back as you are reaching your goal?  

SMART Goals Wednesday:  What’s a measurable goal?  You get to decide how you measure your success. What’s SMART stand for when it comes to setting goals? SMART is an acronym used for any type of goal setting.  SMART goals help set you up for major goal slaying success! SMART stands for Specific (make your goal clear and figure out exactly where you will end up when you have achieved your goal) /Measurable (It’s important to figure out how you will measure your success so that you know when and can celebrate when you’ve achieved your goal.  By this time, I will have completed and created (insert goal).  I will know I’m done because of _______ You can also create your own measures of success.  Did I show up as my authentic self?  Did I coach with compassion?  Did I learn something new?  Did I hold space? Did I have fun? How? .    /Attainable (make sure your goal is possible, If you set a goal that is outside of your realm of possibility, your brain will use that as evidence to criticize and that will cut down on your confidence.  /Relevant means that the goal matters in the bigger picture of your life /Time Bound means you can achieve your outcome or goal in a certain period of time.

Take Massive Action Thursday:  Now that you have your goal and your SMART goals, it’s time to get going.  Self-trust is created by taking action.  You are learning to show up for a goal you set for yourself.  That’s super powerful.  Write down everything you need to do to in the next 30 days to get to your goal.  Break it down into steps.  

Make it Fun to Get it Done Friday: Since this is IME Community, I’m going to teach you my entire philosophy which is to Make it Fun to Get it Done.  Start by owning your goal, then get yourself all amped up to take action like Dwight from The Office before a sales call when he was jamming out on air guitar in the backseat while Jim waited patiently outside the car for Dwight to do his thing.  

Superhero Saturday: Self-love is your superpower to achieve your goals and dreams.  Some of you may not have even heard of Superman.  You should watch the movie, “Superman” with Christopher Reeves, best Superman ever.  Some of the special effects in that movie are hilarious.  Clark Kent was Superman’s version of a nerdy base level human.  When the world needed saving Clark Kent would go into a phone booth and come out as hottie Superman.  Well, you are your own superhero.  You are able to go into a phone booth and put on your self-love superpower cape and go save the world.  No pressure!

Sunday Strategizing:  What are the obstacles in your way? What’s in between you and your goal?  What’s hard about your goal?  What do you need help with?  Now, turn your list of obstacles into strategies.  You can turn your obstacles into strategies which clears your path to achieve your goals.  A strategy could be a skill you need to develop.  Here’s an example: If your goal is to eat sugar in moderation, one obstacle may be “I have lots of urges and cravings to eat sugar.” Strategy examples are: “Even though my sugar cravings are conditioned, my brain can be conditioned to create a healthier pathway.” “ I will create a pause when I have an urge or craving to eat sugar.” “ I will keep an urge jar and only count my wins.”  

Now, get it all on the calendar and mark off your wins! You’ve got this!

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