Body Positivity | IME Community

Parents – Stop Weight Bullying Your Kids and Your Kids’ Friends

by Dr.Karla, ActivistMD | May 1, 2022 | Anti Bullying, Body Positivity, Parenting and Teens

You’re crossing an inappropriate boundary when you judge and comment on a child’s body.

Do better! Now! It’s time to stop weight bullying your kids and your kid’s friends.

Stop Weight Bullying – It’s Abusive and Toxic

Here’s the logic thread: If you bully, your kid will bully. If you are bullying, do a U-turn. You are bullying yourself. If you bully, you are stuck in diet culture and its toxic harms. All of it trickles to your kid. You are living a limited life and you’re putting cinder blocks on your kid’s potential growth as a human being and chance at happiness.

When I started TikTok over a year ago, I was shocked at the number of videos of body positive creators getting cyber-bullied based on their body size. Absolutely horrible! So, I started making videos talking about how you know nothing about anyone else’s health. Health and weight are not directly correlated and health information is private and protected. So, that was that. And, the cyber-bullying continues in full force.

Then, shockingly, I started noticing videos made by young adults whose parents have weight bullied them. Totally disgusting and abusive! So, I made duets and called it out on my go-to platform, TikTok.

Okay then, what will I discover next after putting on my scuba gear and diving into the clock app?

I won’t change the world. I’m here to learn. Listen. Listen. Listen.

Just the other day, I ran across a video while scrolling, where @powerlove2855, who I follow and you should too, talked about when she was little, her friend’s mom weight bullied her. Unbelievably toxic!

Weight Bullying Video with a Teen TikTok Creator

Of course, I did a duet video with @powerlove2285 on TikTok:

My text at the top:

Studies show young children experience weight-based victimization from parents, friends, peers, doctors, and teachers.

“On more than one occasion in elementary school I would have a friend tell me that her Mom said I was fat and I needed to lose weight. That Mom was secretly hoping that that little girl would stop being my friend. Because she wanted her little girl to have the social capital of being friends with all the pretty, tiny, little Limited 2 girls back in my time.”

“It is so absolutely petty. The part of this conversation of growing up fat that we don’t talk about enough is that adults that are not your family, not your parents consistently comment on your body. Friends of parents, teachers, lunch ladies, school librarians, neighbors, unhinged women at the grocery store who tell your Mom to stop feeding you.”

“The absolutely disgusting commentary around a child’s body must end. Must end.”

The comments on my video are rolling in and it’s not looking good, folks! Grandparents weight bully, Parents, friends’ parents, teachers, doctors, neighbors. It’s a toxic entitlement to comment on children’s bodies. As a pediatrician and mandatory reporter, these comments strike me as inappropriate on the level of verbal and emotional abuse. Let’s disrupt the toxicity by calling it out!

Weight Shouldn’t Be Weaponized

Research and studies have been out for quite a while of parental perceptions of weight-based victimization, its harms for their children and listing weight bullying as the number one health concern for parents of teens with overweight.

It’s unfortunately, not a surprise that children in larger bodies are ostracized and their weight is weaponized as a weakness, just as they are growing and developing.

Parents, we can help our children and teens create bully bans or boundary setting statements, but, if you are a weight bully stuck in diet culture and your internalized biases, you’ve got some work to do.

Make a Commitment to Stop Weight Bullying Your Kids or Teens

Commit today to stop weight bullying your child or teen. What are your future parent guide words? Envision you showing up as the kind of parent you want to be. Nobody’s watching but you, and your kid. If you are a parent who is a weight bully, you’re most likely weight bullying yourself and it’s not a simple flip of a switch to cancel diet culture. Your children and teens are worth the work you have to do to do better.

May 2022 Is Mental Health Awareness Month

It’s Mental Health Awareness Month. Teens are in a Mental Health Crisis as another wave of COVID hits. We simply don’t have time or tolerance for adults who bully children.

Go to imecommunity.com and get on my email list, read and share my blogs! Follow @imecommunity on TikTok!

Self-love superpower,

Dr. Karla, ActivistMD

Stop Bullying Your Selfie

by Dr.Karla, ActivistMD | Apr 1, 2022 | Body Positivity, General, Self Acceptance

“But first lemme take a selfie”

A selfie is worth a thousand words, or at least a thousand Instagram comments.

There’s More to Selfies Than Pose and Click

I’m horrible at taking selfies. Like, really bad. I never know where to look, so I always look like I’m staring off to the side. My kids make relentless fun of my selfie ineptitude. In fact, one time, my oldest daughter, Katherine, got on my phone and got all my selfies together and posted them on Instagram with the caption, “My Mom’s a Savage.”

I actually took this as a compliment!

The other day I was life coaching a teen in IME Community on pictures, social media and all the things.

I always learn so much from life coaching. It’s my all-time favorite.

I don’t really find that teens are obsessed with taking selfies and posting them on social media.

Teens are much more nuanced than us parents when it comes to social media platforms.

Self-Judging About Selfies

Teens are obsessed with self-judging before posting said selfies. It makes total sense, especially if you read my recent blog on Cyberbullying and Teens.

It’s a part of perfectionism, which is a harmful thought habit that keeps us from showing up as our true authentic selves ready to live our fun magical lives!

More on perfectionism reset and Make It Fun to Get It Done coming up in IME Community!

There’s so much pressure, not to post necessarily, but if you want to post, teens feel the pressure to get ahead of their post and make it “perfect” to avoid criticism.

Stop Bullying Yourself – Perfect Doesn’t Exist

Let’s repeat that: Perfect. Doesn’t Exist.

“I look bad in that pic.”
“Let’s take another one.”
“That’s a bad angle.”
“I hate what I’m wearing.”
“Why does everyone else look good, but I look horrible?”

You’re judging yourself before it even goes out into the world.

“It’s permanent once I post it.”

That’s a thought. Thoughts create feelings. “It’s permanent” creates fear which will drive the action to get stuck in self-judging perfectionism.

Not challenging thoughts means you stay stuck in current patterns, results and reality.

Sure, that selfie becomes part of the manufactured digital universe, but it never has to permanently affect you in your mind.

Going to Post a Selfie? Try Thinking About It This Way

Try these thoughts instead:

This is a random selfie and I’m having fun.
I’m willing to let people judge me.
I like my reasons for posting this selfie.
I have my own back.

Once you post from a place of self-love, you create self-trust which is a huge self-confidence build. You start taking more action which perpetuates more action and so on and so on.

If your teen is indulging in selfie overwhelm, offer up one of the Dr. Karla thought challenges as a new perspective and then let it go.

Trust your teen to create selfie self-trust and figure it out on their own.

Make sure you join IME Community if you’re a teen, 12 to 18 or parent of a teen who is ready to cancel diet culture and co-create a body positive community in a body negative world!